Acknowledge limits

Some people comb and wash their faces before allowing others to meet or see. Let's say spouses allow to see and kiss each other before doing this convenient facts but, before being engaged or married, they both avoided being seen so.

Let's say we seldom go out naked or just wearing intimate clothing. We were told not to do it after being grown or during the process of early youth, so we seldom let brothers or sisters looked at us naked, that way we used when being babies, when needing help to get those dirty diapers.

Let's say we are transpasser, transgressors. We know what we did and what we're told not to do, but we sometimes fail doing what it is asked or sought.

Wifes hate husbands bringing dirty into their houses, particularly when a wife is that who often cleans.

It is written “Do not lie”, but we don't understand that cheating is more than that...

What makes you to do what it is not expected from you to do? (Don't stare at me, I'm alike).

1)    Lack of respect? You and I ask people not to do “this”, but we often do what they don't want us to do.

2)    Disobedience? We are told not to spoil the earth, but we throw trash everywhere. We criticize smokers or car drivers, but we set fire on bigger things (even with the tongue).

3)     Selfish or selfcentered? We don't want to be hurt or offended, but we keep on doing things people asked not to do with them.

Once each week I work with computers. I have dealt with their problems and virus and many come by surfing the Internet (MS and many send them for free) (their idea is you buy and pay). Some know to spy your docs, your personal data, same way you are permitted to freely download music form other computers (when using Torrents, Ares, Tubecatcher, Emule, etc.) I like to get data from Google and those browsers which know where I am by scanning my IP and IMEI. This is like being social, when people is awfully sick. Do I know the limits or the risk of this file sharing?

I have asked some friends not to send me FWRs. They can be nice, worth reading, but I find them impersonal. More than that, I avoid virus and certainly dislike those FWRs that ask me to re-send those FWRs. I hate those FWRs that try to bind my mind in a chain. These tells you: “If you love God (or Christ) re-send”. (Would that be the Christ like way, by the way?)

I seldom read FWRs (I delete them) and those who insist on sending them TO ME I consider disrespectful. Perhaps I told them “not to send” twice, they have no idea on the time I have spend fixing a machine and, what concerns me more, is avoiding others PCs were damage, because in my country many people avoid paying OS's legal licenses (They suffer more when cherished personal data or pictures are lost) (Recovery is useless is not securing or backing up data).

Reputation is important, my job matters me; but some people don't know the limits: We cannot get what we aren't paying for. The quality of a friendship has the same seal I have for others respect. If I want honor, I myself must honor others; so I had better knowing what they expect from me, to know what I can offer them: For free or priced.

God Himself, being much more than High, respect our realm. He does not force us to do His will. He invites us to do what it is best, and has let us to learn the hard way. He gives His advice, He told us what to do -what He expects from us- and has let some to be what we were and what we are... How long will He let us to hurt others? How long does it take us to learn the best WAY?

He has set a time and a limit. We are transpassers, transgressors, but there are limits we cannot go beyond, and this are lifetime, divine and human laws and those who come and are gone.

My mind tells me I will not woo a bossy woman. It tells me I don't like the people I don't like, because there is no need to tell others how you are (you don't need to be cracked) except when you pour yourself on God's hands.

Recently someone told me she is a little confused. She has a boyfriend who pays little attention on her emotions. He is not so affective with her, and her confusion lies on the other guy who is attentive, kind and sweet. She is lightly engaged with the first. She knows some limits, but the other seems interested in her, knowing she has a boyfriend and, each time the last meets, she felt more “loved” or cherished.

I told her that, after a year, as an average, people change in a relationship, particularly when one has achieved what he/she has sought (sex, affection or attention) (and I know these because I have lived).

When talking she knew the situation she is in... I told her that, not being a committed Christian, will lead both to sex. Such an affection or attention is not bad, but will drive them both to things connected to sex. What would be the end result?

She is becoming an adult and I told her mother... Her mother and I spoke largely and learnt many things on today's youth. I did many wrong things when being young, but today they have video cameras to record them and to upload those deeds to seek “glory” (or recurrent shame). Do I know my limits?

Some people I know told me: “Freely love”, “Don't think too much...” And I have seen how we walk all over people's emotions, dreams and expectations. I know how some nice looking faces are sought like gold. These have the “advantage” of saying yes or not to whom ever they want and, ask them how happy they are or how many they hurt...

Body beauty is appealing and many use to hide and try to be invisible (others, just the opposite way: Sometimes it helps). Allow me to say I would like a woman who writes like Emily Brontë, but will hate one who cheats or behaves like a dog in the streets (I know my limits).

I'm thankful God gave me the chance to learn from this life. Sometimes I wish I could do what Adam Sadler does in the movie “Click” (push some bottoms to go farther) and, as a gift, be pulled back with God's help to life; but I acknowledged my limits.

Sometimes we're not given a second time (that's is one common limit). Sometimes we don't see others lines and jumped above neighbor's fences. We want these things done, we ask too many things, but bypassing other's expectations. What about the commandments? Do God need me to be happy? (Is it not I who needs Him?)

Sometimes I dislike not having enough time. I regret few tiny achievement, each day, but step by step we traveled long. What if living a day of 40 hour? Won't I feel the same lack? I set a limit and it could be a simple and honest joy: I did what I could (same as you, each day).

There are thousands of reasons to like or dislike people. We all are the same! Some of us try to open doors and sometimes we shut them before going in.

Too often we try to be heard, to get some attention, and dislike others have their ways and point of views. We childish expects others to behave, while we blindly see no other way, but ours. Shame on me! (I'm a blind man who often see what I see and not to mention I'm unwilling to note others warns).

There is an individual dialog between us an our mind. We like to hear that inner voice who longs to be heard and sometimes we missed her, and paid too little attention, when we lacked this Christian insight we have now. Loneliness comes when I stopped listening me and others. Loneliness comes when I draw myself and isolate from others, whatever the reason I could have thought of: I forgot my limits and theirs.

I have a penfriend who is writing at me... She said she dislikes people who listen music at high volume, no matter the music it be. She doesn't care if they love tattoos, change the color of their head or do drugs... “whatever thing any does without hurting me or embarrassing others is Ok” (We're talking about limits). Are not the commandments to avoid hurting others and oneselves?

Drugs consumers affect society. Any can say: “That's their problem” but WILL AFFECT ours. He or she has rights, and these affects social surroundings (we need that control).

God respects self-willed people,but He has His will also. Who am I to say no to His limits? He cuts the eternal life at those who are unwilling to understand this 2nd, 3rd... or any chance (I don't know how many, but I have heard of those who changed and of those who never repented).

Tradition limits our understanding. Shortcomings have handicapped some steps we reluctantly did and finally we left when feeling dismayed or disappointed, when not acknowledging the true limits: We hate being hurt; but we lie, we gossip, I cheat... Does my law serve me, and not others?

I don't want to be engaged with those I don't like. I've been invited to go out, to share, but there is not communion between light and darkness (let's say I'm in the shadows).

I tried to understand the world according to my hunches, to other's beliefs, and I will not stop talking to me, alone or in nobody's company. I'm happy those who kindly gave what I needed and I want nothing what´s not really mine: Emotions fade as years go by.

What would this world be without holy standards?

What would this be without God and His morals?

I came too short! I'm not any better, but certainly not worst (and I own Him all I lived).

I own Him more than this life, and I have told Him that I don't want eternity without being advised, being told, on what to do. I don't know what could be the best!

Some years ago I moved to Colombia and sold out all I could. I planned not to come back but I came, and he only knows my truly me. I haven't lost everything but I lost anything,and I don't want to spend the rest of this earthly life trying and trying, achieving nothing, because heaven is the limit.

I wish you could hear Him talk. Some missed their mothers or fathers, but I miss Him whom I have missed all my life. I was stubborn, I still the same, but I don't walk to walk this darkness without hearing, without touching His guiding hands: I am blind! I cannot not see life without Him.

God is God, and I see Jesus as His Son (Same way I see Him as He saw Himself) (I'm not Trinitarian nor Triune).

This “love” I try to express is different from others. It is not the missing of my Dad. It never reaches my Mom's bonds (and she is here, in this room, trying to convince me to wash some things I don't want) :P

God's limits are unknown. I'm learning to love Him for the Person He is. I hate the idea of looking after Him as Provider (and He is). I dislike talking, alone, as a prayer; because I sometimes needed to talk, and I know he heard.

This liking is sexless and with no gender. When I needed His words or works, He sent an man (or a woman) to speak to me. I know He uses circumstances to talk to (louder, sometimes) and He lacks nothing to say or do (It is I who lacks and comes short). These reasons are acknowledged! (namely limits).

I don't know why He made me to be. There was an English teacher (Elisa) who once wrote me “that she would regret not having been lived...”  She was right! We learnt the hard way.

Why are you angry?

Why are you alone?

We did what we did and, as my friend MS says: “There's no need to cry over the milk spilled”. (Sometimes there's a second or a third chance).

Perhaps my dream reminds a dream. Perhaps I get it; perhaps I build over it. And I've seen how some of these take time (and effort) to be real and to be done. Life is a blind date! We don't know whom we are going to meet.

Just one more thing for you: Be visible! Hide and run when it be needed, but don't spend your life that way (Time is passing by and we're not assured when the next chance will come).

Show that face! Laugh till you die: No one will bring you what you stopped giving others.

Don't be too serious when telling a lie: Just give them the truth without hurting others, same way you would like to be blessed with real truth.

Love is not an option,but a must. Do not lie! Don't give others anything, if you don't know what you really want nor what they really need.

Relationships are built on some personal conveniences. Will you let others come to steal or hurt you?

Friendship and love are not to be begged, but to be given...

If you don't feel it, don't give it. It is like laughing!... You know when there is real joy with the people you are with (Don't lie at you) (Don't do that to others).

A.T.

FB

Last Friday I went to the nearest cybershop in this crazy city. There I spoke to Angel and we arranged to meet on Sunday, when I´m suppose to clean and get updated the server of that shop. There were some empty seats and I marveled why, because many were working or getting ready for their dates to go out. I needed to check my emails and that stuff I don´t do on my slow phone. Within some minutes, I noticed some of the things a nice looking blond chubby child was doing at my right. By the moment I came in, He was playing counterstrike on line but, after half an hour, he had his facebook account opened, and I saw how his mate was helping him from his right.

“Tell her this! And write that...” Told a thin teenager on the row, while I checked my on-line stuff.

It was a funny time. I like to go there because it is not a noise place and the air conditioner works at ease. I teach them often how to keep the machines working and I have learner there several things I enjoy now.

“Accept her! Don´t let her go”. Said my neighbor´s friend to the child.

Suddenly, as large as the thin young boy is, he came to the boy´s keyboard and helped the chubby child to write messages into facebook.

I couldn´t stop myself from looking straight to the screen to see what was going on that play. Quickly I notice this blond fat boy had several invitations to a friendship, so I recommended him to accept the all.

He was reluctant!

-This is ugly! I don´t like her. Look at her face! He said.

Then, I quickly told.

-Look at you, first! You´re not thin or tall. You may have your nice looking face, but you don´t need to despise people the outside appearance... Are they asking you to be married? Ha! Ha!

-No! No! But I don´t like these.

He had more than 15 invitations. I had no idea what made him to be so popular in there or out there, but the very moment reminded me how I was at that age, the things I did wrong, some people I hurt.

-Look at me boy! -I said-. At this age is rare someone smiles at me. When you grow old you would grow cold, and few people would care about you. Do you want to be alone? Is it fare you dismiss them that way? Let´s make a deal! Those you don´t want or like, SEND THEM TO ME!

The other guy was laughing at my childish way to arguing with the kid. I saw those pictures I dare to check and insisted on.

-If you don´t like that girl, ask her mother write to me!

-NO! I don´t like her face.

-Does her face tell you how she is?... I wish I knew if her mother is single or divorced. Ha! Ha!

There were many things said. I wish I could have a video or an exact record of the things I say when seriously kidding.

Suddenly two young girls came in to shop. These aren´t older than 25 and the clerk is very popular with one of them.

-¡Edwin! Dános par de máquinas, por una hora... (Give us two PCs for an hour).

These girls came wearing tight shorts, which is the “sexy” fashion for fat or nice looking girls here. They´re thin, young and single; but it wasn´t my chance to “pulling the legs”, as British people could say. (He! He!)

While I was uploading some pics on Netlog, I perceived these two newcomers started to draw more attention than usual. They were shouting and talking about their impressions on FB and, of course, I was far enough to see those things clear; but they wanted full attention, so many of us turned faces to see and hear.

Half of the chat room paid attention on those girls, including me. I said a couple of funny things at random and laughed at their expense; but I kept my place with the kids, and were whispering things about them. They said a couple of nasty words. They shouted and needed more of the usual attention because they think they are alive, desirable (I don´t trust too much on appearance).

Where do I come from?

The chubby boy reminded me that one whom I was, the man I must watch and beware of. He is honest, clean as many children, and has the same standards I once got.

I liked the way his nearer friend helped him to reply those girls who wanted his personal friendship, but those kind words belonged to another and, being fair, that friendship belongs to another; since the chubby boy do not care, but for body beauty (I would care for it, if I planned to re-marry) :P

Youth gives us some fancy ideas that took time for me to change. There we believed childish things that keep on coming, sticky ideas hard to get rid of, but life is not real life unless we see things the way we should.

I remember how I looked at the people of my age. I remember some words I said and the ideas I got when being a teenager or a man of 30. Some things remain the same. My eyes are alive and my mind thinks she is living, but I know all the truth is on God, our Creator.

I´m happy I have met good people. I learn from those who freely share their life and it is interesting how written words can bring joy or healing to those who seek. No everybody is willing to give his/her best; but many writers have done so: Goethe... Desmond Morris, Pilar Sordo and dozens who never expected anything in turn. (May God bless ALL of them).

I´m sure many people will recover to live their life. I´ve known some who helped me when I was sad, bitter in sorrows, during the process of my divorce, and God sent them as “rescue party” (no names mentioned in here).

Pornography serves for nothing. Social sites are not better (or worst) than real people, but we cannot live totally isolated.

An urban hermit needs to interact with him and his humanity. We cannot know God if we don´t know people. They serve us like mirrors, and they show what they´ve got and what we are (and here is where any starts to make his/her amendment).

I clearly remember how I was in high school. I have some memories, on those things certain girls told about me, and sometimes I wish I could come back to tell them I was wrong or they were wronged.

Perhaps, I don´t know, there would be a time to tell them “I´m sorry!”. I did this or that and I was wrong. “I hurt you”, “I liked you”... and life was self-seeking, I lived in a rush, that I had no time to make the best choices nor to think them twice.

Yes!

Perhaps, one day in eternity, there would be that time to amend, to bring some joy; but last week I met one of those classroom mates who have forgotten me (I don´t really care! But it is factual and true). There are more than 30 years. I don´t remember her name, but her face; and I had to tell her some names to help her recover the memory. She said she acknowledged she studied at the same place I was and, of course, I don´t remember having misbehaved, but that taught me memory fades, some things are unimportant, and some people can help you to back up where your are lost, with pieces of their collective memory: I kept pieces they loved or hated. I keep what I made mine, same way as they´ve got theirs.

The mind is interesting. I have no way to say my mind is my soul. There is no “scientific” way I can prove one thing against the other; but I know both are mine, in one body.

What about the people I met yesterday? They would grow old, and not cold. Perhaps one may think she (or he) is glowing like a star, but they will find the way... (and this is not in faKebook).

Today (Saturday, May 25th) before I publish this note, I was walking a crowed street while returning my mother´s. I was asking the prices for paint and some materials while I noticed a short woman in front of me. She took too long to keep on walking and I saw she had a big burden on her shoulders. I thought she was about to be fainted and I asked if I could possibly help. The man in front of her insisted on her behalf, so I kept on asking why she was carrying alone stuff.

“I have no one to help me!”. She weakly said, re-starting to breath.

“I´m sure, as soon as go get home, there would be people who are willing to “help” when you prepare this food.” I replied.

-They give me the money to buy food, but nobody comes.

-Ask them to buy you a slave, instead. It´s better, for your back and health, that you buy anything to carry this heavy load. You don´t deserve this!

After this chat, I noticed her release. I hardly could move the load she was bearing (it was near to 30 Kgs) and took it to the bus stop, where I left her.

How many times we have missed real people, or chances, to help others while bypassing real situations?

She is about 60 and I´ve helped a couple like this. Their children or relatives enjoy their life, while these are left alone, and all forgotten.

Hide & Seek

There is an interesting human behavior in society and on the Internet. I would name it “Hide and Seek”, but surely mind researchers have named it properly.

I've seen the way how many people use to dress up each day, but on Fridays, many of them wear the “best”, same way church goers dress up to attend some meetings.

All the week we dress like common workers or the average, but on Fridays some others look better, well-fashioned and, many reasons are concerning socializing, their going out with somebody. Isn't it like wearing a mask or an uniform?

My sister's daughter told me some of her reasons... The company where she works gives its workers permission to relax, to wear casual on Fridays and she feels better, but she has to keep the company's standard and executive modesty.

As an outsider, I see how girls try to look sexier on Fridays, wearing higher shoes when they're going to work, and I cannot not be fooled, they are free to do what they're pleased and allowed by conventional common laws but, Am I keeping God's standards of modesty?

I cannot deny the fact that I've looked one some girls the way I shouldn't but, Am I the only one fighting against the lust of these eyes?

Some of them have looked me down while I just stared or felt “alive”.  Ja! Ja!

I'm not the only. I know of girls, ladies and men who struggle the same (we all are humans). There are some fleshy ideas coming when we look wrongly at someone we considered sexy or nice looking, since we were trained to think the way the world keeps on teaching and I'm thankful that married women or engaged couples have noticed that certain “naked” fashion and open-minded social behaviors make any to look “sexy” or humanly desirable, far beyond normal friendship or casual dating.

God's fashion and dressing standards are being learned by those who walk in His Spirit. Those who know how eyes can lie, and are developing self control, even when we can forget -sometimes- Jesus gave us a lecture on avoiding looking at persons lustfully (it's a human drive that calms down sometimes when being married)

I'm thankful for those women who hide and are dressed up with modesty, married or not. These are the ones who know what they want and what a man can really offer them to be married. I'm against free open-minded dating, unless I have known a young lady willing to marry me but, if we haven't been good friends, the road is lost... I have wasted time!

On the Internet I foolishly laughed on some tricks I know. I've seen dissatisfied women pretending to be single or separated, but they're not alone. Some single mothers “hide and seek” same ways like men, but these last are easily understood, because this trick has always happened on secular society, and the “law” permits anyone to lie and hurt others, under common social consent.

I know real stories of men and women cheating on line. Some of them pretended to play a fair hide and seek game, but many were married or engaged to another, and some of my female friends have told me sad stories where they felt a real love, they felt being loved by the appropriate Mr Right One and, when personally meeting in a date, they were actually loving women who have used their mask to lie, using the Internet to access humans minds or personal writings.

There are good stories to talk about (I have published some of them on the Internet) and this kind of online human intercourse may serve those who never had a real life or a short one for themselves. “Dating” or playing “Hide and Seek” on the Internet, as well as in real life, may serve some to grow up, but grown-up Christians ought to be reminded this is just another play that can hurt and sometimes kill, both, emotionally and physically.

I like those persons, like me, who warn people not to enter their profile or info. It's like those houses that placed some signs telling people: “Beware of the dogs”. Is it a rotty dog you would meet? (is it a hungry tiger or a cougar?)   :P

No transgressors are allowed, but PMs are sent to “knock down minds doors”, and it's shown some houses are broken in, same way some minds are cracked here or somewhere else.

Christians minds are set on God's standards. God's laws are firewalls and anti-virus.

I know that, those who are using avatars have their committed reasons to hide and to avoid being sought (Some people are for chatting, and not wooing).

I have lately seen how girls and ladies are chased in the streets, same way on chat rooms. I'm glad God allowed me to be men. I've seen how girls are pretty different than us, and no wonder why we keep on searching for the missing piece rather than the missing peace. They are lovable, because God made them to be lovable, more than once (unless we both misbehave).

I beg women understand our misbehaviors. The world gave us same bad lessons you were trained to avoid or cling to. The Internet may serve to play games, but it also serves to train our children to avoid being cheated or hurt. Cats and lions hugely train their kids to live: A dog bites to avoid being bitten, and a sweet bee stings, when she sees someone tries to steal her honey (or money).

I don't like playing games, I won't knock on “risky zones”, I don't like hidden faces, and will not visit those who deeply love their signs of “Beware of the dog” placed at the entrance as “welcome” carpets (I don't like to bark at the wrong tree).

Some Christians sites are bringing blessings rather than other places. Some of us are so deeply hurt that we do not dare to be healed, and don't try a new healing (that's lawful and conventional understood).

Perhaps here, on earth, we have too little common ground. Perhaps my likeness serves only my mirror so I could wash my face once, to look after my selfish thoughts, and to be engaged with dreams, because urban people like to find out where their prey is... Is this instinctively done by Christians too? I quit!

Life is a lottery, and I have heard the same. I don't want to bet any longer: “No one could receive anything if it doesn't come from above.” Said John, the baptist.

I beg the righteous kingdom of God comes soon into my life. I beg to be taken into His presence and have some room to be a true hermit, the way I think I am.

Betting never pays well! Because: “Easy comes easy goes”

Looking at the positive.

I love Jesus' way to approach people. He wasn't playing games and, more than that, He played fairly honest when asking questions. I'd like to share the way He talked to a “solitary” woman, during the noon of a hot day (John 4:6). They talked and, apparently, they both were alone (John 4:8), because the disciples marveled when returning (John 4:27).

Jesus wasn't playing “Hide and Seek”, He wasn't sending hypocritical PMs, but He only asked her to bring her mate to share, and she said she wasn't married (John 4:16-18). Was she wearing social masks?

She became interested in which thing He has to offer and, in fact, she asked Him, who He was when perceiving His grace (John 4:12).

Jesus was not judgmental. Instead, He said she was telling “the truth”, but we are aware she was telling another thing and many of us say one thing, avoiding telling the envious or hidden truth: Are you single? I'm divorced. Would I rather say separated or engaged? No! I can't afford it.

Jesus always acted according to His preaching. That time, 2000 years ago, He came to save humans; next time He will come to judge, while interceding for those He knew, for those He loved, those who have repented their sins and sought after His will.

We don't know what is in everybody's mind, but we play hide and seek. Jesus knew she was telling half the truth and He acknowledged the positive side of it, and bypassed the negative. We play games and hurt, but that's not the way it should be.

Why some people warn not to use PMs? (Personal Messages) Up to them!

Why do I need to use PMs, if I can say openly my real thoughts? Privacy is foolish. The Internet servers are monitored and, more important than this, I could be banned by God ETERNALLY.

We are afraid of many things. We don't want to be molested or disturbed. We don't want to be hurt (while hurting and hunting the prey).

I seldom go to hidden faces or places. I always looked after nice looking faces, and seldom to the ugly duck...

Should I say, instead, “We” to mention more people than just the evil in me? (I regret this code working in my mind, so I protest.)

I will not apologize for being me. I cannot remove this incoherent program I own deep in me (but I keep on trying).

I thank you just for being you, for letting me know who you are; and I did nothing to help, but confessed me and denounce the world we all are living in.

A.T.

She´s a gem.

She is hidden in words... 

Deep like stones of diamonds, or metals like her doors of gold.


She is not a bird of rare feather; she is a dream who has real dreams...


She is dreamed and covered up with unveiled poetry! 


A wholehearted woman
with her lips has sealed
A poem made of love
with her fruits revealed.
 
There's idealization
when blind eyes can't see
at the hunch of a feeling
open hearts may seek.
 
Do not dare so easy
sweet words dismiss;
her lips and its warnings
could bring you peace.
 
What would you, honey
in this world reveal?
With me it's the notion 
that your life could heal.
 
Your kissing has the sealing
inner beauty revealed.
Your wings hold the motions
all my life concealed.
 
Turn me back from deception
pull me back, with your seeds.
Your eyes have the blinking
anyone could see.
 
I've read all the lines, 
from the hands to feet,
I am  simply astonished,
you have loved with need.
 
You are a gem!
You're like poetry!
(And it seeks after itself)
 
A.T.                         May 2013