To Emily

“Your letter brought tears to my eyes.. all I've ever wanted was to have someone love me the way you do... maybe one day God will allow me to marry a man who loves me like you. ”

“I'm so sad.. I don't understand.. why every time I love people.. they leave me.. I don't know what I do wrong... ”

Well, I have no idea, little sister but, if we dare to share our thoughts and ideas -here- we could know (or learn) from our separated worlds or walks.

I don´t know you (1)

We have shared too little (2)

and what we´ve got -online- is but a few, but enough (3).

The Emily I loved was a short woman who reminded me Emily Brontë. I almost felt "she" was you (or you was "she").

When I read those letters (love letters) you wrote to "Leo", I think I knew the one I think I know.

As long as I read those letters you wrote to that "loved one", I think I knew your heart, your soul and I said to myself: "She deserved to be loved" and, without knowing it, I loved you and I felt hurt when someone hurt you, and left you. (We cannot change ppl´s choices) (we also have similar rights) so we´re entitled to love those we want to love.

By those days, I had no idea who you are (except by the PASSION you showed by writing).

Today I have no idea on who you are or what would be those reasons you could be left.

Being honest (more honest, because I don´t have needs to lie) I cared NOTHING if you were sick, handicapped or out of your mind: I loved you! With a passion I never felt or thought before.

I hated all who hurt you and left you. I´m glad I had the time to hide and, when you left CC, I got confused and, when you were unwilling or hindered to chat on CC´s room, when you said you were not permitted to talk on LIVE CHATS, I hate the family you had, I had the conditions you were "living" on and, if I had the money to go to Trinidad "to save you" I would have gone, because I would have loved you, no matter you had AIDS or walked on a wheel chair (a thing I was scared when you approached me on CC, using that nickname I never thought you would use). It was a deja vú I feared and, if I was younger, if I was there -negrita- I would have tried to loved you, even to propose you marriage; but I faced vasectomy to avoid children and, to my own regret, I chose to live like a church mouse (even poorly) so I have nothing to give any woman, except what I think what I have as my life.

Negrita! Long distance relationships are not good enough to live by or with.

We human ppl need living ppl, near doors.

You are the most beautiful woman I´ve ever met. I don´t mind if you are blind, "ugly" or handicapped to your own mind: I would love you, with my own (and, if Venezuela was´t what it is presently, I would take you HOME) but Venezuela is not a home: YOU are any man´s home.

If he takes you as you are, YOU ARE HIS HOME.

I don´t know how to help you but, if you tell me "what you´re doing wrong" I think we could find out.

Are you being picky?

Are you seeking a handsome boy "everybody" loves?

If you dare to tell me, I can try to help.

You are beautiful and, if you are that girl I saw on your CC avatar, you are ALSO beautiful in your external shape: I loved that hair I saw on those tiny pics. I loved the shape I think I saw when you showed me the moment when you was baptized so, what any NORMAL man would lack in meeting you?

I also think that man you recently fed, that poor and rejected one, would love you eternally.

Emily! You are the most wonderful young woman I have met online.

You might not be perfect like God´s angels, but you are a woman, and a beautiful woman and, if you need more help, get a psychologist: Something could be wrong in the way you´re approached but, for me, you are wonderful and, I have no way to tell you that so, if I had more means (youth + money) I would reach you, wherever you are.

Have faith!

Grow inside, and I hope to meet you in heaven. I don´t know you yet, as a whole human being, but I love you, anyhow.

How could I tell you? How could I hug you, the way I am?

God and time will tell. (Do not hurry! Life is eternal)

I love you, Emily Hoooo.