Love at Convenience

I have a dozen of things, like this and, of course, NO ONE would seek a lame, a sick (etc) to be on a date or an ill fated marriage (Both genders seek THEIR conveniences).

Marriage is -and was meant- to BRING life, it seldom was thought that materialistic way we often consider it NOW. If you have thought like this: “...what kinds of plans is he making for their provision after he dies?) It's a reality of life that must be considered.” Don´t be surprised, because it is “safety” what you are seeking, your well-being also and, at 20-30 “economic safety for TOMORROW” is seldom found at youth, unless marrying a nerd like Bill Gates.

I CAN DIE TOMORROW OR within few days, economic insurance are needed to be married? We call it “marriage settlement” (what I have is mine, what you had is yours) but, I gave up my corpse to the UNIVERSITY, it is in my written WILL, to be used later on and to spare my family or children the time -and cost- of those things they have might have paid for my bills; but lately I found out my younger brother have paid for my coffin... Good! And Thanks, brother! What a useful present you bought for me (Ha! Ha!)

No one wants to die!

Chances are UNPREDICTABLE, and I have seen very clearly that“those who were bond to die within a week... They spent 10 years to really die and some -unborn babies- never reached their parents care... I see FEAR and a lack of faith! (I know it too, by personal experience):

“1Jn 4:17  If God's love is made perfect in us, we can be without fear on the day when God judges the world. We will be without fear, because in this world we are like Jesus.

1Jn 4:18  Where God's love is, there is no fear, because God's perfect love takes away fear. It is his punishment that makes a person fear. So his love is not made perfect in the one who has fear. ”

I respectfully took this:

“...what are your thoughts about what I'm going to do or what my life will be after you die? I know it sounds morbid, but it's a fact of life.”    May I ask?: What if you die first?

What would you give a teenager or an elder man when you die?

That´s “another” fact we had ignored (we all surely die, any moment).

Are you economically dependent or too reliant?

Don´t you know how to work?

I see there your fears (My advice, to a person viewing it like this is: Don´t get married, then! (Men or women) ´Cause ALL of us could die, any time).

I´m not calling you selfish or self-centered. Both of the spouses could die anytime but.

Are males and females willing to tell their BFs or GFs “I´m sick! And I´m going to die any time!” (I doubt it) so, if you are “healthy enough” and you die first, Would your family pay back all what your husband invested for love (or those stuff) he paid for you? That´s a materialist approach on how we could see marriage: It was designed to BRING LIFE, not things to have spared stock.

I will not marry twice, that´s a decision (Thanks God!) I cannot afford it and there´s not point on it, now.

I see you are over-concerned (and in fear): “but I admit that I would rebel in every way possible if God told me I needed to marry someone 20 years older than me who had no concern at all about what my life would be after he was gone. ” Isn´t that the same selfishness you said men had? Aren´t you being narcissist?

I agreed with you I don´t like people my own age. I don´t like fat ladies or taller than me. Those are my turn-offs but I never considered the age a people would die: That could be any moment now!

It seemed you are more concerned about “the one dying”, instead of considering BOTH could die any time... That are your fears!

Hope you marry the best one!

Have you thought about it…

I don´t expect and answer, except ONE God could give to humanity and each person who badly or sadly need it...

Have you thought that many persons who might have liked this movie, in their real or passed life, have lived this drama out?

I know it for sure, since the beginning, though I think GOD can turn the bad to good...

Hope all of you who have disliked it (or suffered) find some refreshment in the miracles God does each time a people turn away from sinning, from doing things the opposite way around.

"I've been that guy a little bit, going off by myself years ago in a pickup truck into Nevada, scouting locations for High Plains Drifter. But I didn't stop off with any housewives while doing that."

— Clint Eastwood, on Robert Kincaid. (Thompson, Anne (June 16, 1995). "Bridge on the River Cry". Entertainment Weekly. Retrieved 2011-08-19.)

What does it make it longed, cherished and liked?

If you are a married man, you surely wouldn´t like to here it enjoyed from your wife, will you?

If you are pleasing –enough- your spouse, you don´t even consider living that novel out. Why it is liked?

Believed or not, a writer writes about what he knows or believes. Each reader acknowledges what he/she knows or has believed, somehow. There is a “secrecy” shared when truth is publicly exposed, whether it is admired, denied or unseemly denounced. (Men´s sexual dysfunction has its share on this, married women).

“The novel is presented as a novelization of a true story, but it is in fact entirely fictional. However, the author has stated in an interview that there are strong similarities between the main character and himself.” 

As men we could have said: “I did it! It was enjoyable”. As women, any could have thought: “I wish I could live that out… Is so romantic” But, as committed Christians, could we think similarly?

There´s not need to be judgmental! I have liked similarities like that –unnoticedly. I didn´t know it till few years back, and now I know something is WRONG in the mind of men (and within certain women I have personally met) because I want all my life set free from living out those déjà vu.

There is a research done (http://facstaff.uww.edu/cottlec/QArchive/bomc.htm). It also said some were surprised: “…Based on a reader-response case study of Waller's phenomenal bestseller, the research reported here demonstrates not only that readers' subjective experience of the same text can vary dramatically…” 

Why?

I remember my grandmother´s sighs... She liked to watch TV soup operas… Have you?

The secularized life we have led, willing or unwillingly brought us to the place we are and to the place we could be. Are we putting the wrong up?

I wouldn´t dare to write down the list of names of persons I have known, with all those I´ve had a love affair, and happily I´m forgetting their names (and the wrong we both did). Could any wrong be condoned?

That research also said there´s something wrong in the mind of some readers. I know it because I have witnessed several girls/women having liked that romantic drama and, the fact is quite connected to sinning: Adultery.

Have you loved a woman who still longs for another? Hmong culture did something to avoid it...

Have you loved a married lady? (If so, will you willing to suffer the same pain?)

Do you enjoy sharing your girlfriend -or spouse- with another man´s feeling?

Are you aware some men or woman hugged you thinking of another they missed and loved?

Sinning is so hiddenly sought that we´re not aware of our own faults against those we said we love but, unadvisedly, “Francesca noticed that she was acting like somebody else during her time spent with Robert, yet she felt more alive and herself than ever before, showing her transformation from the trout (a common housewife in the eyes of her family and the society in Madison County) to who she really is in her heart (a glimmering girl - a magical being, special and one of a kind). Francesca's duality can be seen in her interactions with Richard Johnson, her husband and Robert Kincaid, her lover. These two men are two sides to the coin that is Francesca's life.”

Men are different from women, although we cannot say “I haven´t done it”. We, sometimes, have liked or needed to play a “love” game like that of Francesca. Sin should be acknowledged are renounce. I know we badly need a prayer to avoid suffering a way like this, because both genders are in similar risks of falling this way.

Michelle Rose Solano, an Asian young woman commenting, wrote: “Bridges of Madison County has always been a novel of interest to me ever since it was translated into film and as a child I was told it isn't for kids. Truly, it isn't for kids, not because of the partial nudity and romanticism of adultery but because kids are too young and idealistic to understand the subtleties of the story. Francesca had a husband who was a good man, not a drunkard or a womanizer, not a druggie or a wife-batterer, a simple man who loved her in his own way. Her children loved her and turned out well, as you will see at the end of the story. Anybody could say her life was good.” and “her heart that yearns for something more than the life she had unwittingly chosen for herself.”

Do you long for it?

Recently I knew I could love a person who said she was “retired” from something Hosea knew and suffered (Hos 1:2, 7 ; 2:1-7 or 3:1-3). 

It´s sure the Scripture wasn´t meant for that only. It reaches us until present.

The research also said: “...the most striking characteristic of the commercial market for romance literature is that it consists almost entirely of women.  By even the most liberal estimates, males represent no more than 1 to 2% of the readers of popular romances (Hovet, 1986).”

Is it sure? Just read why many of them like things like “Twin light”, novels/movies of endless love made of vampires and the likes, such as this. (Click over the link to ease it)

Is something wrongly wired inside our brains? I know what could be wrong within mine and also tried to see where things are getting wronged within a relationship. Will you pull yourselves out of an insane bond like those above?

This may sound anti-feminist, but I also have it found to be true: “...women readers turn in such big numbers to romantic literature as an escape from the felt limitations of their lives as women by partaking of fantasies that, in the end, reaffirm the very limitations from which they try to escape...”

Are we -men- doing things wrongly? Unknowingly or willingly?

I don´t mind to say I have spent part of my life with women. If I only had fond one I could love wholeheartedly unconcerned, I would re-marry but, the more I see they suffer from their emotional lacks and over-emotional insufficiencies, I´m thinking celibacy over.

I´m aware of there´s emotional animosity on this short assay I could write as a subjective person I am and, if you want my name, I´m Antonio Toro. Blame me in your prayers...

Although the research I´ve mention above could say much more, that is not a Christian approach to this mind-sin issue. I know it from a 1^st hand experience and I´m trying to be away from a woman I know who has it...

You could show some psychological resistance or unconscious rage on this I wrote: I felt the same when I watched the movie, and many readers would show “their love and hated part.” 

I´d like to invite you to turn to Jesus, to His Father´s will. I know They can help you sort all the thought issues of your sinning life.

Praised be His Eternal name!

A.T.

Detached or attached

I don´t know if many of you have reached to the point where you see love as a committed decision. I don´t know if you are really convinced of this, that way I warned my close brother he has to stop smoking since our father died with cancer, and from two children he has, I was the one who spent years telling him not to smoke, since childhood: If you don´t love yourselves, you would love too little others.

These last years I have had few love affairs. I consider love important since it has to do with my drives, my human and visceral longings and hopefully it is changing from the visceral to the spiritual. Monica, the best woman I think I had, left me a special letter where she wanted me to learn the importance of loving people more than the attention I gave to things. She lovingly reasoned her arguments and wrote of the way she perceived me, when we had 9 months living together and by the moment I had to leave to work in Caracas, a place I don´t want to be in, but I work for money and to buy the livestock we buy to keep this life on.

I don´t know if I would publish her letter in English. I´m sure I feel I will publish it in Spanish -not today- just for the sake of letting people learn from other´s people experiences.

She claimed I spent too much time with things instead of people. She felt alone when I was investing too many time on learning and working, while she felt alone “at home” when I was in or out and, I will not argue with reasons: I needed knowledge to work and I needed those things I did to keep the economy of life working on: I wish I were rich to devote more time to that woman, but I have seen few people enjoy peace or great contentment in a simple life close to poverty.

These days I know what contentment is. Each time I see those who get more than they need to spend for a day, I hear their dissatisfaction and disagreement for having won enough money to pay their bills and buy enough food.

Few days back I was talking to someone I don´t know in a line to buy food. We chatted to move on so I started to compare the situation with those days Moses and his people lived, so I knew that Colombian man had the insight many Venezuelan lack to live one day after another.

“Why are we buying more food than we need? We are we using another person to buy the food another people need?”

We agreed on those things we wouldn´t do to avoid the behavior Moses´people showed on the Exodus.

“They picked up manna from heaven. They piled it up and much more than they needed and, by doing it, it went malodorous and was filled with worms.” “They wanted meat and God gave them wandering birds, so they ate much more than they could, so that lusty gluttony upset the Living GOD above”.

How could you feed up in idleness? How could you work is your not enabled or trained?

I was shocked this secular man have the same insight I have. We have the scriptural understanding and practice that I dared to shake hands when we split to buy food inside the supermarket without saying goodbye (though I know he is in favor of the “social” communism I don´t believe in, just because he is receiving the $ocial benefits he will not receive is he was in his country, Colombia).

I know Monica disliked my way to see life. Lately she knew I tried to see it from a Christian perspective she could get but, to her mind or recursive culture, that is not the way it should be approached or lived, but I know I cannot get as much as I want, and it cannot be gotten as much as there is to be hold for a simple reason I have seen: The more I had the more it was spent ( Ecc 5:11 As the number of goods increase, so do the number of people who consume them. What do owners gain from all their goods except the opportunity to look at them? ).

The more attached we are to things or persons the more we have to spend time or effort to keep it. Some have undergone idolatry, personal worship on things or people and I´m sure GOD would intervene to cut that off and it´s not for being jealous, it´s just for being the Dad He really is.

Have you ever lost something you cherished with your life and full feelings? It was an idol, an object of worship, a thing “more” important than your own life, and it was hindering your relationship between you and God, between you and people around.

Those things you have lost with resentment were a stumbling block you needed out of your life. No matter it was a person or dead thing. Everything that is removed from your life is something you don´t need, but we were blind to see we never need them, in deed. While living, things and persons are casted out sometimes, because those persons, feelings and things were not to be hold to walk a living life. Cheated on? Left alone? Hurt and despised? Remember you also did the same, remember you also hurt and disdained and you yourselves played the fool when being too demanding.

Jesus gave me rules -and a tricks- to try out the detachment I wasn´t used to live. Here are some tips you could read and abound about:

Joh 16:22 "Now you're in a painful situation. But I will see you again. Then you will be happy, and no one will take that happiness away from you.

Mat 5:40 If someone wants to sue you in order to take your shirt, let him have your coat too. (Luk 6:29)

Mat 5:39 But I tell you not to oppose an evil person. If someone slaps you on your right cheek, turn your other cheek to him as well.

Mat 5:41 If someone forces you to go one mile, go two miles with him.

Mat 5:42 Give to everyone who asks you for something. Don't turn anyone away who wants to borrow something from you.

Mat 5:44 But I tell you this: Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.

Luk 6:30 Give to everyone who asks you for something. If someone takes what is yours, don't insist on getting it back.

Luk 6:31 "Do for other people everything you want them to do for you.

Luk 6:33 If you help those who help you, do you deserve any thanks for that? Sinners do that too.

Luk 6:34 If you lend anything to those from whom you expect to get something back, do you deserve any thanks for that? Sinners also lend to sinners to get back what they lend.

John 16:22 gives me assurance. Pain is both, an emotional and a physical temporal condition. Several situation might lead us into it, but it is not eternal (unless we reject God´s plans).

Matt 5:40 and 42 teach me of those things I am humanly attached for personal convenience. I do dislike working to loose those things I bought or got painstakingly. A farmer works to enjoy the fruits of his toil. A wife does all her chores to see the house she ever wanted -and dreamed about- but be aware of not everybody wants a tidy house or well-built big home. Jesus taught about Martha and Mary´s ways of being (Luke 10:40). If I want my things in my place, I should respect the stuff of others and, if I´m taught about being detached, I can be forced to depend on God´s will, God´s strengths and His ultimate plans. You are aware many would like to send you to jail by using lawyers and a judge, but you are above all them when you give without fears.

It is a disgusting situation a person comes asking you things. I have read persons approached others to get a visa, their green card numbers and your credit cards to pick money out and I understand why we feel molested when being used or abused. No problem they have faked emotions or feeling. No regret is sought when you knew you were cheated on and creepily tricked: Give them what they got! (Nothing, for sure).

Matt 5:44 is a reminder I have to get improved. I know I can love, but I´m not good at praying for those I once loved. You and I can give some stuff, but prayers worth more time, more capability and efforts, and it gives us the chance to keep on loving them with bigger strengths, because the more we pray for an enemy (and those we loved and those we left) that love could be increased and -obviously- prayer strengthens the amount of that love (It doesn´t mean you want them back, it does mean you want GOD´s will to be done).

I like Jesus because He always taught giving the examples with the lessons. All His human life is a pattern where I can try a new model I don´t have inside me.

I don´t know what hurts you more. Is it money, those things you do to live or your core feelings?

Mónica was afraid of my ways, she hadn´t enough time to see I was copying a model I never saw as a pattern and she jumped into her assumptions and felt hurt and left. I´m used to live by daily passions and I thought being visceral was the real me, but Jesus showed I´m wrong as any could be wronged.

You can be cheated on, but no one would take your love away. You can feel hurt, but mind and body always heal. You can be cut and torn to pieces, but present life is not real life and all theses things can be rebuilt. Has Jesus cried? Did he feel some pains?... Just go to his healing cross!

Luke 6:30-31 teaches me I can get all I might have lost. I can work to take over all I lost and all I gave. What am I afraid of? Do I really need all of these?

If I gave you love, why do I expect it back? Is love lent or borrowed? Though, if you know it is borrowed (from God´s) why are we so confused and afraid to love? His love is endless and eternal, and things do not belong to us. Money is made of promissory notes and papers. Money is gold or silver and no one would take these away (those who dared, would pay it back one day).

Don´t think I don´t get molested when I see people unwilling to pay what they owe. Don´t think I get mad when I see people´s abuse, because I have used people too: I´m a sinner! But I´m learning from the Lord´s examples. I give and, when anything is received, I feel the joy it might bring to me.

Don´t give to receive! Just give to please the ONE who really gives.

Don´t expect certain things back! These are like seed you planted on your backyard or personal fields.

I used to crawl for money and too many things. I wasn´t aware these were enslaving my life, and the toil I had deserved no more praise. :)

Some might feel the Gospel is for losers. Some people in the past saw it as a drug, like Marx but, you just tell others what you don´t cling to.

I don´t know how long I will live a day after another. I just learned I cannot live with those who pushed me to be enslaved with their likes and caprices. I know what´s between using and abusing, and it is you who set your rules and the things underlined within your own life. If you are willing to serve people some would like to get you in servitude and painstaking labors. If you are blinded by the longs of mundane life, you could miss part of a simple life.

I don´t want to show up like a man I am not. I don´t want to show up I grew a little (or too little) although I don´t feel the need to be like those who think “they are chosen by God” to better things, just because I don´t need to be thanked (Luk 6:33) and, if I could receive another place as reward, I´m glad with the one I have now (away from those I don´t like).

No one likes to be slapped by life nor people. I´m not strong enough to stand several things without reacting trouble-solvingly, so I need to learn Jesus´ trouble-loving ways. Matt 5:39, 41 teaches me to do God´s will instead of ours. If I´m forced to walk one more mile, if I feel slapped right in the face, I am not happy to let some steam off, but Jesus showed how strong He is and was. He gave them the chance to keep it on, to the point He died and set all of us free.

What would you do? Will you risk your face, your eyes, your house and its stuff?

The more I know it I own nothing. The more I know who I am I know I´m nothing but a soul. Joshua, my son, learned it the hard way when he went to the military service. He told me what he felt and he learned the hard way, I wanted to kill those who were training him to have complete control over his emotions, his thoughts and normal human reactions. What would you do? Would you pray for your enemies or you would use a sword to kill and defend? Jesus did what I should do (Luke 6:31, 33).

Regarding things and livestocks, what are those things borrowed and lent? (Luke 6:34) I love, because of I do want to be loved? I hugged, because I like to be hugged?

All those things I could lend are just those I might like to get borrowed. Why do I work? Why do I give or beg? Is it that I´m selfish and tend to think self-centered?

It´s normal that I plant a tree to see its fruits but, palm trees -like date- aren´t like carrots or other veggies. We all want something back, even in a simple date. Why? Are you buying people or planting a love seed? We all work to receive part of the harvest “and also sinners want to get back what they lent”.

Who gave you the plant and the seeds? Is it an unreason a date is called after palm trees dates?

Love is as unlimited as you believe it is.

An enduring love seldom takes you 5 minutes to grow. It would take 7 minutes to destroy everything you have built, but it takes a lifespan to get it the way you liked or dreamed about.

Are you detached or attached?

Mónica wanted me to see what she saw. I needed to work, to learn, those things I don´t have enough. She lacked patience as I also lacked wisdom (that one she wanted me to see).

If someone goes, another comes... Just the opposite way a rainbow drop would tell you not! Haven´t you heard someone knocking at your door lately?

Rev 3:20 Look, I'm standing at the door and knocking. If anyone listens to my voice and opens the door, I'll come in and we'll eat together.

Corinthians teaches us about His love: Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn't jealous (I Cort. 13:4).

Who told you a date will bring its fruits in five minutes?

Aren´t you aware that time would kill a good seed?

Any moment you don´t think of, a door will be closed to open another. Hear that voice who calls you by name. Hear with the heart and think with the Spirit of His mind.

It is His or a worldly thing at your doorstep?

He might tell you: “I´m your gate”, but Jesus is the only ONE where sheep find food, peace, once we stopped living unrestrained.

Joh 10:9 I am the gate. Those who enter the sheep pen through me will be saved. They will go in and out of the sheep pen and find food.

In His service!

A.T.