I´ve
recently read that several young people regret not meeting other
folks, their age, who
were willing
to cope with long-term relationships. I wouldn´t say it is a form
of reluctance but a normal social behavior aimed to stay with their
best choice, as long as these get matured and find out what they
really liked from their acquaintance. Some people do want to be
utterly committed, but few are grown-up enough to endure long-term
commitments, economically, romantically or lovingly.
The Lord
Jesus said something to think of: “'Well done, good and faithful
servant. You
have been faithful over a little;
I will set you over much...” (Mat 25:23) and “Anyone who can be
trusted in little matters can also be
trusted in important matters.
But anyone who is dishonest in little matters will be dishonest in
important matters.” (Luke 16:10) Was He talking about being trusted
in long or short term things?
And, if we
are good friends, worthy as loyal ones, can´t we get
the best
of short-run friendship and long-term fellowship?
Several
years ago I tried one odd thing and I failed. I was wooing at an old
friend I had and her nice-looking sister liked me much more; so I did the best I
could to draw her to me and -soon after- I lost the one I should have
taken... What a foolish thing I did! I have met that for years, we
studied in the same training school, but I liked her sister more:
Poor me! (but let me remember Lot´s wife, to avoid looking back).
How could I
deserve a long-term relationship, if I´m not loyal enough with old
friends?
That´s
where I liked another lesson Jesus gave me about human relationships
when He was talking to a woman who chose short-termed relationships
at some “randomized” convenience: She
was thirsty
of eternal life and probably
all tired out
(Jn 4:15). She asked Him a break (and a relief) of that toil she knew
and He asked about her loved ones: “The woman answered, "I
don't have a husband."
"That's
right,"
Jesus replied, "you're
telling the truth. You don't have a husband. You have already been
married five times, and the man you are now living with isn't your
husband."
” (Jn 4:16-18)
Was she
really married?
No! Let´s update what Jesus probably said: “"You're telling
the truth. You
don't have a husband.
You
have already been with five men,
and the
man you are now living with isn't your husband."”
Does it look easier to be seen and understood? That was a euphemism,
not an exact statement.
I´m like
that Samaritan! I don´t know about you: But I´m that sinner.
She was
thirsty of something she knew, there
was something she could not quench deep inside her life,
and probably some recurrent unwillingness bothered or her wounded
heart acted like a stumbling block on few of those short-term
commitments... How could I be good enough for a long-term
relationship if I´m not good -and loyal enough- during short-term
fellowships?
She have
tried it 5 times! Let´s say she wasn´t left, let´s say she was the
one leaving men behind. Let´s suppose she was left 5 times... Was
something wrong in a person left? (Is something wrong in a person
leaving?) Sure! Both
parties involved are accountable for leaving and being left (the
innocents and emotionally damaged are those children).
Could
that lesson be a moral rebuke just for me? Sometimes I wanted “the
blessing”,
but with nothing offered or spiritually promised.
Allow
me to say something more about a Samaritan man Jesus spoke of: He was
on his way doing a business trip and founded out a person in need. He
felt pity (Lk 10:33) But what sort of a relationship will be one like
that, a long-term or a short-termed relationship? It seemed a naive
parable, it seemed a make-believe story but, after 2000 years, I know
it is a true story I should learn about, because I´ve seen it in my
life too, several ways.
That
Samaritan man
asked nothing in turn.
Instead, he gave money the inn keeper when he was leaving that
injured person he took in charge. During that process of healing,
they probably shared good times talking about each other; yet the
good Samaritan endangered his reputation and life when saving an
unkown person, and that is where I like Jesus´ words: “Greater
love has no man than this, that a
man gives up his life for his friends.
” (Jn 15:13) (Jn
13:35).
Giving
up life:
Is it a long-term issue in your life or a short-term deal you cope
with daily? You know it well and you chose it each time.
I
cannot get a better job if I´m not good enough at simple tasks. I
don´t deserve better things if I´m not taking care at those few I
actually had: “... You
have been true in a small thing...”
(Matt. 25:20-23). That principle applies to human relationship, not
only to borrowed material talents we said we owned.
When I was in my late 20´s I
met a lot of people who were friendly. If I tried to meet several of
them now, I´d be utterly rejected or I would do the same
disapproving them. Those friends I had have changed, and I
have changed myself,
in a way “we” could say properly we were happy we shared one or
two decades, and I know it because I have met a couple of them, and
their life is quite different the way we were: The have children,
spouses, new habits I don´t cope with and, worst than that, I´m
not the young man they knew
(or liked) so, without doubts I can say life
is built up on the successions of short-termed relationships.
Look at Jesus´ life. He spent
3,5 years with His disciples. He only had 3 favorites friends of
those 12 he chose and his
own brothers were not His close friends:
“Jesus' brothers
(…) did not believe
in him.” (Jn 7:5)
He nearly lived with them 30 years and those
homies showed little respect
for an old sibling: “You
should leave here
(…) If you want to
be well known, you must not hide what you do.”
(Jn 7:3-4).
Look at His loved ones: “And
when his family heard it, they went out to seize him, for they
were saying,
"He is
out of his mind."”
(Mark 3:21) and see how He dealt with those he purposely ignored
shortly: “Jesus asked, "Who
is my mother? Who
are my brothers?"”
(Mark 3:33; Matt 12:50). “It is not possible for you to be hated by
the world; but I am hated by it, because I give witness that what it
does is evil.“ (John 7:7)
If you´re not willing to cope
with short-term relationships you´d probably miss longer ones; and
just have a look on Jesus´ eternal scope, because what He did
reached you and me out, a couple of millenniums now.
Jacob wanted to marry Rachel
and, having no other choice to pick her out from her father´s house,
he dared to work 14 years to marry her.
Moses married the one he liked,
and Abraham wrongly heard the one God had promised a child. Was that
life journey easy for all of them? No! It wasn´t easy.
Here´s another tip Jesus
left: “By your
endurance you
will gain your lives.”
(Lk. 21:19) That applies to our personal fellowship of beliefs and
ideas. Many think faith and believing are enough to get heavens, but
they´re missing up those words saying “easy comes, easy goes”
because long-termed endurance has a moral purpose.
What if Jacob had fought and
talked back against Laban to get Rachel instead of Leah?
What if that Samaritan woman
needed to learn certain lessons -the hard way- before being properly
committed? Let´s say Jesus wanted the woman to be married; same way
the other woman He told: “Go
your way and never do wrong again.”
(Jn 8:11)
Short-term relationships
prepare us for a better endurance of love and eternity. I don´t
deserve something better if I´m not taking care of the good things
I´m actually granted. If I´m not good at virtual friendship, if I
lacked the ability to keep a simple friend most of my life (which is
a short-term relationship) I´m not yet ready for the engagement of
marriage, which is a long-termed commitment of love and look at this
thought the Bible gave: “A friend is loving at all times, and
becomes a brother in times of trouble.” (Pro 17:17) If I haven´t
tried this way, I´d better stopping my whining: That´s my direct
fault being alone!
For boosting yourselves, I wish you could watch the movie “The
Ultimate Gift” (2007) or the nasty movie “The wolf of Wall Street”
(2013) There you´d see why some “friends” are sought (Prov.
14:20, 17:9, 18:24) and why some are lately rejected. In both
movies part of this wicked life is very well portrayed, yet the
edifying one is that Ultimate Gift.
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