Closed road.

The upsetting thing was the she told me she liked another. I wanted to help her sort out part of her emotional problems, but we liked one another. Nothing ugly or sinful has passed between us, except I knew she was an horoscope believer, an hinduistic or science-tologic believer (anything I don´t know) and she was coming back to Venezuela, and I wanted to be of help. We met personally (and It was wonderful) (we spent our talking and learning about one another) I fell in love, like a kid (she is beautiful and she behaved like feeling the same).

Later on, on my birthday, we planned to meet (it was her idea, and I loved it) but, at midnight, we started to chat and she told me she liked someone else she was unwilling to leave behind (that sounded me like those men and women who have more than one mate).

She told me many private things before. When I wanted to know about the nature of her relationship to this man, she avoided telling me... I asked her to explain me. I said my reaction would be the same. She insisted on telling me personally (and I´m conscious it could be a trick to know me better) but I asked to her to avoid me this bad feeling, dissatisfaction... She told me she had someone SHE LIKED. He was connected to her by family bonds, since youth, and bla, bla, bla... But I myself do not permit somebody else comes in at the same category of LIKE or LOVED, if we´re talking about Eros Love (in Spanish we seldom use the word “loved” to mean those cherished, at the top of connections or friend relations). So that hurt me. I have learnt (very well) the lesson of this, so I decided to leave, to let her alone or with anyone she likes. She´s free and it was my failure accepting these things I should not -otherwise- allow anyone: We´re of different yokes.

The thing is, she was drawing my attention, to the point of more than a superficial friendship, on facebook, She asked me to pay her "that attention", and I must pay no attention to pagans, horoscope followers or anything worshippers, so I failed, ´cause I went from one point to another. I became her eye-witness, while I tried to help her overcome her emotional problems, but I fell in love emotionally. That´s why I´m not witnessing" (and it hurts too).

Let your class know that these things happen. Let them know that, when we are witnessing or trying to do well, the self, the inner being we are and try to hide, sometimes comes out to ask what we do not have or seek.

I have published a couple of things in Spanish, but I can´t translate –any better- the emotion of being rejected or feeling despised, although WE WERE NOT ENGAGED and it was the first time we met (and it was like living a complete year) (it was like being a teen, twice).

And I know this was an infatuation, but I learnt -deeply- on the ways a woman can love, ´cause, frequently, people do not tell certain "secrets" their eyes, their acts or soul cannot not hide, but this time, my soul felt like never before. I know (and I knew) the differences, but I can´t deny MY FEELINGS, my need of conveying -ALL OF THEM- in a marriage, in some I could please, honor, and take care.

I have spent all my life seeking the same goal, but my divorce has driven me to infirmities, additional failures, so I want some learn from my shortcomings. If I can help any to give them shortcuts, I would.

The Church is the better place to find friends and mates. Outside the people He has chosen there´s nothing but failures and disappointments and bad relations.

That´s my lesson, but i can´t convey all of them in a letter today: This is not may language (but this is my real feeling) and, sharing with you (typing this and the former letter) gave me the chance to express it well.

Thank you, brother Robert, and tell these team, godlife.com, that this site is an investment and, these seeds, the pain toiling days, would produce a crop.

May God count me that day, and help me understand where to go to.

Thank you, and use this freely (I´ll publish it, anyhow)