Detached or attached

I don´t know if many of you have reached to the point where you see love as a committed decision. I don´t know if you are really convinced of this, that way I warned my close brother he has to stop smoking since our father died with cancer, and from two children he has, I was the one who spent years telling him not to smoke, since childhood: If you don´t love yourselves, you would love too little others.

These last years I have had few love affairs. I consider love important since it has to do with my drives, my human and visceral longings and hopefully it is changing from the visceral to the spiritual. Monica, the best woman I think I had, left me a special letter where she wanted me to learn the importance of loving people more than the attention I gave to things. She lovingly reasoned her arguments and wrote of the way she perceived me, when we had 9 months living together and by the moment I had to leave to work in Caracas, a place I don´t want to be in, but I work for money and to buy the livestock we buy to keep this life on.

I don´t know if I would publish her letter in English. I´m sure I feel I will publish it in Spanish -not today- just for the sake of letting people learn from other´s people experiences.

She claimed I spent too much time with things instead of people. She felt alone when I was investing too many time on learning and working, while she felt alone “at home” when I was in or out and, I will not argue with reasons: I needed knowledge to work and I needed those things I did to keep the economy of life working on: I wish I were rich to devote more time to that woman, but I have seen few people enjoy peace or great contentment in a simple life close to poverty.

These days I know what contentment is. Each time I see those who get more than they need to spend for a day, I hear their dissatisfaction and disagreement for having won enough money to pay their bills and buy enough food.

Few days back I was talking to someone I don´t know in a line to buy food. We chatted to move on so I started to compare the situation with those days Moses and his people lived, so I knew that Colombian man had the insight many Venezuelan lack to live one day after another.

“Why are we buying more food than we need? We are we using another person to buy the food another people need?”

We agreed on those things we wouldn´t do to avoid the behavior Moses´people showed on the Exodus.

“They picked up manna from heaven. They piled it up and much more than they needed and, by doing it, it went malodorous and was filled with worms.” “They wanted meat and God gave them wandering birds, so they ate much more than they could, so that lusty gluttony upset the Living GOD above”.

How could you feed up in idleness? How could you work is your not enabled or trained?

I was shocked this secular man have the same insight I have. We have the scriptural understanding and practice that I dared to shake hands when we split to buy food inside the supermarket without saying goodbye (though I know he is in favor of the “social” communism I don´t believe in, just because he is receiving the $ocial benefits he will not receive is he was in his country, Colombia).

I know Monica disliked my way to see life. Lately she knew I tried to see it from a Christian perspective she could get but, to her mind or recursive culture, that is not the way it should be approached or lived, but I know I cannot get as much as I want, and it cannot be gotten as much as there is to be hold for a simple reason I have seen: The more I had the more it was spent ( Ecc 5:11 As the number of goods increase, so do the number of people who consume them. What do owners gain from all their goods except the opportunity to look at them? ).

The more attached we are to things or persons the more we have to spend time or effort to keep it. Some have undergone idolatry, personal worship on things or people and I´m sure GOD would intervene to cut that off and it´s not for being jealous, it´s just for being the Dad He really is.

Have you ever lost something you cherished with your life and full feelings? It was an idol, an object of worship, a thing “more” important than your own life, and it was hindering your relationship between you and God, between you and people around.

Those things you have lost with resentment were a stumbling block you needed out of your life. No matter it was a person or dead thing. Everything that is removed from your life is something you don´t need, but we were blind to see we never need them, in deed. While living, things and persons are casted out sometimes, because those persons, feelings and things were not to be hold to walk a living life. Cheated on? Left alone? Hurt and despised? Remember you also did the same, remember you also hurt and disdained and you yourselves played the fool when being too demanding.

Jesus gave me rules -and a tricks- to try out the detachment I wasn´t used to live. Here are some tips you could read and abound about:

Joh 16:22 "Now you're in a painful situation. But I will see you again. Then you will be happy, and no one will take that happiness away from you.

Mat 5:40 If someone wants to sue you in order to take your shirt, let him have your coat too. (Luk 6:29)

Mat 5:39 But I tell you not to oppose an evil person. If someone slaps you on your right cheek, turn your other cheek to him as well.

Mat 5:41 If someone forces you to go one mile, go two miles with him.

Mat 5:42 Give to everyone who asks you for something. Don't turn anyone away who wants to borrow something from you.

Mat 5:44 But I tell you this: Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.

Luk 6:30 Give to everyone who asks you for something. If someone takes what is yours, don't insist on getting it back.

Luk 6:31 "Do for other people everything you want them to do for you.

Luk 6:33 If you help those who help you, do you deserve any thanks for that? Sinners do that too.

Luk 6:34 If you lend anything to those from whom you expect to get something back, do you deserve any thanks for that? Sinners also lend to sinners to get back what they lend.

John 16:22 gives me assurance. Pain is both, an emotional and a physical temporal condition. Several situation might lead us into it, but it is not eternal (unless we reject God´s plans).

Matt 5:40 and 42 teach me of those things I am humanly attached for personal convenience. I do dislike working to loose those things I bought or got painstakingly. A farmer works to enjoy the fruits of his toil. A wife does all her chores to see the house she ever wanted -and dreamed about- but be aware of not everybody wants a tidy house or well-built big home. Jesus taught about Martha and Mary´s ways of being (Luke 10:40). If I want my things in my place, I should respect the stuff of others and, if I´m taught about being detached, I can be forced to depend on God´s will, God´s strengths and His ultimate plans. You are aware many would like to send you to jail by using lawyers and a judge, but you are above all them when you give without fears.

It is a disgusting situation a person comes asking you things. I have read persons approached others to get a visa, their green card numbers and your credit cards to pick money out and I understand why we feel molested when being used or abused. No problem they have faked emotions or feeling. No regret is sought when you knew you were cheated on and creepily tricked: Give them what they got! (Nothing, for sure).

Matt 5:44 is a reminder I have to get improved. I know I can love, but I´m not good at praying for those I once loved. You and I can give some stuff, but prayers worth more time, more capability and efforts, and it gives us the chance to keep on loving them with bigger strengths, because the more we pray for an enemy (and those we loved and those we left) that love could be increased and -obviously- prayer strengthens the amount of that love (It doesn´t mean you want them back, it does mean you want GOD´s will to be done).

I like Jesus because He always taught giving the examples with the lessons. All His human life is a pattern where I can try a new model I don´t have inside me.

I don´t know what hurts you more. Is it money, those things you do to live or your core feelings?

Mónica was afraid of my ways, she hadn´t enough time to see I was copying a model I never saw as a pattern and she jumped into her assumptions and felt hurt and left. I´m used to live by daily passions and I thought being visceral was the real me, but Jesus showed I´m wrong as any could be wronged.

You can be cheated on, but no one would take your love away. You can feel hurt, but mind and body always heal. You can be cut and torn to pieces, but present life is not real life and all theses things can be rebuilt. Has Jesus cried? Did he feel some pains?... Just go to his healing cross!

Luke 6:30-31 teaches me I can get all I might have lost. I can work to take over all I lost and all I gave. What am I afraid of? Do I really need all of these?

If I gave you love, why do I expect it back? Is love lent or borrowed? Though, if you know it is borrowed (from God´s) why are we so confused and afraid to love? His love is endless and eternal, and things do not belong to us. Money is made of promissory notes and papers. Money is gold or silver and no one would take these away (those who dared, would pay it back one day).

Don´t think I don´t get molested when I see people unwilling to pay what they owe. Don´t think I get mad when I see people´s abuse, because I have used people too: I´m a sinner! But I´m learning from the Lord´s examples. I give and, when anything is received, I feel the joy it might bring to me.

Don´t give to receive! Just give to please the ONE who really gives.

Don´t expect certain things back! These are like seed you planted on your backyard or personal fields.

I used to crawl for money and too many things. I wasn´t aware these were enslaving my life, and the toil I had deserved no more praise. :)

Some might feel the Gospel is for losers. Some people in the past saw it as a drug, like Marx but, you just tell others what you don´t cling to.

I don´t know how long I will live a day after another. I just learned I cannot live with those who pushed me to be enslaved with their likes and caprices. I know what´s between using and abusing, and it is you who set your rules and the things underlined within your own life. If you are willing to serve people some would like to get you in servitude and painstaking labors. If you are blinded by the longs of mundane life, you could miss part of a simple life.

I don´t want to show up like a man I am not. I don´t want to show up I grew a little (or too little) although I don´t feel the need to be like those who think “they are chosen by God” to better things, just because I don´t need to be thanked (Luk 6:33) and, if I could receive another place as reward, I´m glad with the one I have now (away from those I don´t like).

No one likes to be slapped by life nor people. I´m not strong enough to stand several things without reacting trouble-solvingly, so I need to learn Jesus´ trouble-loving ways. Matt 5:39, 41 teaches me to do God´s will instead of ours. If I´m forced to walk one more mile, if I feel slapped right in the face, I am not happy to let some steam off, but Jesus showed how strong He is and was. He gave them the chance to keep it on, to the point He died and set all of us free.

What would you do? Will you risk your face, your eyes, your house and its stuff?

The more I know it I own nothing. The more I know who I am I know I´m nothing but a soul. Joshua, my son, learned it the hard way when he went to the military service. He told me what he felt and he learned the hard way, I wanted to kill those who were training him to have complete control over his emotions, his thoughts and normal human reactions. What would you do? Would you pray for your enemies or you would use a sword to kill and defend? Jesus did what I should do (Luke 6:31, 33).

Regarding things and livestocks, what are those things borrowed and lent? (Luke 6:34) I love, because of I do want to be loved? I hugged, because I like to be hugged?

All those things I could lend are just those I might like to get borrowed. Why do I work? Why do I give or beg? Is it that I´m selfish and tend to think self-centered?

It´s normal that I plant a tree to see its fruits but, palm trees -like date- aren´t like carrots or other veggies. We all want something back, even in a simple date. Why? Are you buying people or planting a love seed? We all work to receive part of the harvest “and also sinners want to get back what they lent”.

Who gave you the plant and the seeds? Is it an unreason a date is called after palm trees dates?

Love is as unlimited as you believe it is.

An enduring love seldom takes you 5 minutes to grow. It would take 7 minutes to destroy everything you have built, but it takes a lifespan to get it the way you liked or dreamed about.

Are you detached or attached?

Mónica wanted me to see what she saw. I needed to work, to learn, those things I don´t have enough. She lacked patience as I also lacked wisdom (that one she wanted me to see).

If someone goes, another comes... Just the opposite way a rainbow drop would tell you not! Haven´t you heard someone knocking at your door lately?

Rev 3:20 Look, I'm standing at the door and knocking. If anyone listens to my voice and opens the door, I'll come in and we'll eat together.

Corinthians teaches us about His love: Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn't jealous (I Cort. 13:4).

Who told you a date will bring its fruits in five minutes?

Aren´t you aware that time would kill a good seed?

Any moment you don´t think of, a door will be closed to open another. Hear that voice who calls you by name. Hear with the heart and think with the Spirit of His mind.

It is His or a worldly thing at your doorstep?

He might tell you: “I´m your gate”, but Jesus is the only ONE where sheep find food, peace, once we stopped living unrestrained.

Joh 10:9 I am the gate. Those who enter the sheep pen through me will be saved. They will go in and out of the sheep pen and find food.

In His service!

A.T.

Building a home with children of two families

I´d liked to share this, briefly (material to check later on):

I met someone at one of my clients who is a pastor. I saw her something rare, I liked her (and she helped me know I was also liked) so, the rest could be predicted.

I spent some time being known and accepted. She did the best she could to allow me to be accepted (and known) by her children (20, 17 and 15).

She said I was approved by them (though I knew I needed no approval, except hers).

One of those days there was an issue and I tried to intervene and she said: "Allow me to sort this..." So I knew it wasn´t my problem, but hers (and theirs).

Soon I knew many of their problem (They long for a family... and a father). The older made her mother to believe I was "OK", but I knew he sees her "dates" as a mean to get sorted the economic aspect he thinks his mother has to sort to keep on helping him, financially. (A wrong thing).

Her daughter, of 17, is engaged with a good boy, same age and, she was the hardest person to be "won" to received the approval "my" friend thought I needed (I don´t know why she thought I needed their children approval, but they never molested me -or US- during this short courting process.

Victor (15) was jealous. Knowing it I did the best I could to help him (because my mom had too many men wooing around, my childhood). He, any moment, as his mother told me, helped her to know she was in love -she fell in love- but I knew her children concern and also their basic needs when I slept in their home (Victor really cared for her mother´s needs and felt jealous when she asked me to give a massage on her back).

As a grown up child I know we don´t like more men teasing around our mothers. We are clever enough MANY are just seeking sex and not pursuing real love (though we want to receive gift$, as the attention (or affection) those "lovers" could show in behalf of us, as her children).

I remember I wanted my father came back to my mother´s life... I remember she came to visit him, sometime before he died and I thought to myself: "I hope they come home, at last". (That NEVER happen).

I´m sure if a man or a woman wants to build a home, they would include their children (Both, man´s and hers).

We, as kids, are like those pets teasing around, just to be sure or mom is "safe" or "controlled", but I have seen adults set their own limits and few enjoy those limitations: Those children set and those adults set, for their sake.

I´m convinced the less children we have got, to re-marry, is an asset. The more we have got... more problems, and these are not economics solely.

One of my siblings had faced troubles these past days... This weekend I saw her husband is couping with her daughter (AT LAST) and it made me to feeel happy that she has got the family she has largely dreamed: It was that he wanted his son to be above all she had and also wanted her daughter to leave them alone... He was afraid and freaky jealous!

I remember that, when I was married, my own children spoiled my "private" intimacy. I wanted time to be with her and these 3 were teasing around, without sleeping and I got bored waiting MY TIME to be with her (no wonder when we -men- do our thing to be slept).

I don´t want to remember the time I spoke on that issue to my ex (she always contradicted me, so I left).

Limits are to be set to enjoy life and homie life. If any spouse lacks that understanding, dissatisfaction would knock at their doors...

Eros needs it room, its privacy for both couples, though kids like to ignore parent´s rules (and human needs).

The sad thing is time goes by and. somehow, we feel we have left too much (for nothing).   :)

La moral (o “Eso no es moral”)

Hace mucho he oído esto. Puede que mis conceptos no sean mejores que los suyos y, también en esto, cada persona tiene derecho (y moral) para defender su posición y opinión PERSONAL.

No cabe duda que hay una moral social, una moral colectiva pero -sin el individuo- sin la pluralidad distintiva de quienes somos, la moral “social” no tiene valor ni sentido alguno, puesto que ésta (la social) es un gran convenio cultural, tácito o no, de la opinión generalizada, la posición étnica o social y el uso de LAS COSTUMBRE de cada individuo en particular, ligada a su actividad social, a su IDENTIDAD protagónica (no antagónica), en cualquier medio que cada individuo se desenvuelva.

En un sentido, la moral es un hábito hecho “plural” por la aceptación de un colectivo. Los hábitos o conductas son individuales pero, la vía de la transculturización, podemos reconocer valores nuevos, ajenos a nuestra generación, a la herencia de nuestra cultura o extrañas a los valores de nuestras familias (las que nos formaron y educaron).

Una sociedad que fomente el tráfico de drogas, el irrespeto, el robo, la mentira, etc., no permanecerá como tal y, de hecho, tal permisividad AMORAL deteriorará la vida de cada ciudadano, al punto de que cada individuo llegará a auto extinguirse ¿Ejemplo? La presente cultura política de Venezuela.

Joselo Díaz, en uno de sus programas “cómicos” tenía un personaje que decía: “¡Dios mío! Yo no te pido que me des real, sino que me pongas donde hay...”. ¿Lo recuerdan? Es obvio que, quien quiera diga eso hoy -moralmente- tiene muy poco que exigir o ejemplificar con la doble moral que públicamente exhibe.

¿Qué es la MORAL?

Brevemente, me tomo prestada esta corta definición de wikipedia:

“La moral o moralidad (del latín mos, moris, ‘costumbre’) son las reglas o normas por las que se rige el comportamiento o la conducta de un ser humano en relación a la sociedad (normas sociales), a sí mismo, y a todo lo que lo rodea. Otra perspectiva la define como el conocimiento de lo que el ser humano debe hacer o evitar para conservar estabilidad social.” ( http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moral )

Podemos hablar mucho de moral y practicarla poco (hipocresía).

Podemos buscar -y abarcar- toda la gama del espectro social, el entorno espiritual o su ámbito teológico, sin formar un habito verdaderamente nuestro, aquel que nos defina INDIVIDUALMENTE en la sociedad que decimos pertenecer, esta que nos da abrigo, y en la que se fomentamos relaciones de pertenencia, conveniencia y convivencia.

La moral nos define, nos determina individualmente, nos identifica como unos y otros, por nuestros valores y hábitos. Nos caracteriza, nos aprueba o desaprueba en el contexto psico-social, porque la ambigüedad (la doble moral) es propia de quienes mienten y, precisamente, los mentirosos van desde sus casas a la iglesia, de las escuelas a la calle y, en ese encuentro “social”, el cielo es el límite.

¿Cuáles son mis costumbres morales?

Como individuo, se espera que yo respete e imite la conducta deseada de ciertos patrones o normas de aceptación social. Se desea que aprecie y respete esos convencionalismos. Puede que, en la escuela o en el trabajo yo sea aprobado académicamente pero, así como en otros lugares y en otros aspectos, yo puedo ser un ser reprobado moralmente, porque este convencionalismo de la moral forma hábitos que se asocian el carácter de cada individuo de una sociedad determinada que valora o estimula ideales considerados “espirituales”.

No matar, no robar, no mentir, no codiciar... en el fondo -más que mandamientos- son valores morales “espiritualizados” y, la paz universal de cada hombre se basa en el respeto de los deberes y derechos de cada individuo, hombre o mujer.

Hace ya años que una querida amiga escribió su artículo “La prostitución como alternativa”. Creo que no cesaré de proclamar sus ideas ni ese escrito pues, desde la ventana de su campo y vivencia psicológica, ella dejó ver la ambigüedad de ciertos conceptos morales que torcemos a conveniencia (Favor seguir el link de su escrito).

Moralmente -quiéralo no no- tengo una obligación individual de honrar la moral colectiva así como merezco el respeto de mi moral individual. No puedo ser indiferente (ni negligente) al irrespetar lo que debo a otros y, en esa misma proporción, merezco respeto a lo que yo valoro, como individuo, como persona y, hablo de moral personal, esta que me determina o caracteriza como individuo.

Las leyes “orgánicas” se suponen normalizan la coexistencia de cada individuo de cada país. La moral, en su mínima expresión, refleja parte de ese sistema moral macro-social, macro-ecómico que, cada individuo desea y debe respetar: No matar, no robar, no mentir, no codiciar, etc.

Un fumador no debe fumar en presencia de una persona que odie al olor del cigarrillo, no debe fumar frente a un niño y, mucho menos, al lado de otra persona que esté afectada por una enfermedad pulmonar: Eso sería un deber ser moral.

Un ladrón, por su parte, considera “crimen profesional” cualquier acto que le prive de lo que “compró” o robó a otro.

Un proxeneta no tiene moral para criticar lo que hace su hijo o su hija por dinero (o por placer). No puedo hablar mal de la pornografía si la produzco o la consumo... Un traficante de sexo no tiene más moral que quien la compra y, en medio del texto (en negrilla) dejo un hipervínculo que -también- toca este tema que seduce a tantos y ¿En qué una prostituta es menos que un chulo?

Una prostituta, en su código individual, penaliza y critica a cualquier mujer (u hombre) que la prive de la compañía de cualquier persona que la llene del placer que no haya en otro hombre (o mujer). Aunque moralmente no es ético que ella resienta alguna forma de infidelidad (emocional o sexual) su razón le dice: “No me han hecho un bien” y es allí donde la moral toca su ideal mayor (el bien colectivo, respetando -particularmente- el bien individual).

La infidelidad, como costumbre (moris) tiene un reconocimiento público, moral, “espiritual” y legal pero, en la práctica, usamos un discurso doble: “Yo deseo que me seas fiel” (pero yo sí tengo derecho a dormir con quien quiera, tú no). ¿Es eso moral o hipocresía?

Me parece, no sé a Uds, que uno no tiene autoridad moral para intentan cambiar a otros cuando uno mismo no ha podido cambiarse ni auto mejorarse. Esto me recuerda la exacta moral que propuso el señor jesucristo cuando expuso aquello de “Médico cúrate a ti mismo” o cuando dijo: “Saca la viga de tu ojo, para que puedas ayudar a otros a curarse” ( Mateo 7:3; Lucas 6:42 )

Si yo mismo no he dejado de mentir ¿Qué moral tengo para enseñar el arte de la verdad?

Si yo mismo no soy infiel ¿Cómo enseñar la lealtad?

Si no sé responder a un compromiso ¿Cómo daré una cátedra si no soy responsable?

Estoy convencido, no sólo por la experiencia de vida en Venezuela que, las personas que más te exigen cosas son las mismas que menos están dispuestas a darlas de sí.

Puede que pidan materialmente, pero resultan -tacañas y tacaños- a la hora que deben dar lo que otros piden (o sólo anhelan se les respete).

El mejor ejemplo de autoridad moral lo encuentro en Jesucristo. Su máxima, en esto de relaciones humanas y todo aquello que tenga que ver con uno mismo, lo resume en esta fórmula: “Y así como quieran que los hombres les hagan a ustedes, hagan con ellos de la misma manera. ” (Lucas 6:31)

¿Quieres te respeten? Muestra respeto or otros.

¿Deseas te aprecien o escuche? Paga con la misma moneda... Sólo se cosecha lo que se siembre, menos de allí, no tenemos moral para pedir.

Alguien que defienda su identidad personal, su autoestima, debe saber respetar -también- la auto imagen que cada persona cuida (o descuida). No es moral que yo haga lo contrario a lo que deseo para mí.

A.T. Abril 2014

Love at 1st sight?

Many folks grew with this hunch. Many watched those romantic movies telling our heart “this might be true” but, how many people have found it as completely true?

Perhaps many grew with Disney's movies. Millions of people heart it was real, up to the moment the faced it wasn't that way, but it was worthy to keep it alive, because it gave them live.

I can remember a couple of faces I saw in my childhood, but that feeling it wasn't love, but a desire to get it, to have it, to hold it; but it wasn't real, we didn't make it worked.

Growing old we saw those faces, but we couldn't get their minds, their inner beings and, if we ever had a glimpse on those hearts, we all were to dark to see the light in between: We split, we left, we hurt when being hurt (or cheated on).

Love is not just a telling, a feeling, it's a real giving. Love is not a simple choice, it is much more than a simple decision: It's a willful decision.

Someone wrote “the Curse of choosing a soul-mate” and said something about Rebekkah and Isaac. He said God was all behind that marriage, but he forgot to tell that there were more human reasons pushing Rebekkah to marry a man she never saw or knew. He bypassed mentioning the monetary status Rebekkah (and her family) saw as an additional blessing on Isaac's father, because that servant told them Isaac was the heir of Abraham's belongings.

That someone wrote this: “ If Rebekah went to Isaac, without seeing him, and accept it as the Will of God/Elohim, then why do all of these "believers" today think that they get to cast the deciding vote? ”. I'd like to share my ideas here -and there- because I cannot post in that article I found it “fine”, up to the moment that person said “it is a curse making a personal choice”.

As far as I read the OT, I see GOD gave each man freewill. He brought to Adam each animal and Adam gave them some names (I don know) but it is the first proof I see He (God) man freedom to pick, to choose, as a freewill.

Afterwards, He saw the man so “alone”, that He gave him an Eve...

How come will a man be ONE, with his “flesh”, if a woman lacks what he likes from a woman?

I guess Adam saw something “missing” he founded out on the person GOD gave him to LOVE, to care, to protect, etc.

Rebekkah, on the other side, saw Isaac's grace on the prosperity his servant brought to her house. Laban bent down, as a servant, just after he saw the generosity that man carried, but it was for Abraham's sake. It wasn't the servant's wealth! (Do you need to pick “poverty” instead of some earthly confort?)

God prospered Abraham and that servant way's, but the blessing was on Abraham's hand, and on Isaac reach, as heir.

Yesterday I visited someone (whose name I won't say) and she told me some domestic problems she had at home. She told me her man hides the coke or bread he buys, just to avoid that person's daughter eats what he brought “home”. I got shocked, but I was told he came to her life when he was jobless, when he wasn't studying and -barely- he had finished high school and -being in that condition- she took him into her heart (and house) and, more than once, she gave him money and helped him to finish a college career. Let's thank GOD for that! But now he is jealous his benefactor had had one children before they both have “made” one son he now wants as her unique heir...

Wow! He is not jealous of my friend's daughter. His zeal is not for his son, because I know he likes that woman's daughter leaves alone that apartment to get more marital power and, in case they divorce, he thinks he could get his big share (I know it! Because I have talked with him, several times, before I knew this domestic problem).

None of them are committed Christians.

That person is a sibling, so I am related to this very closely, and I am happy to know SHE LOVES HIM THE WAY HE IS (He was hurt in his childhood; but I don't condone it, because both parents are responsible for the end of this very local “domestic” problem: They made a choice and one is eagerly more coherent -and committed- with this loving and unresolved problem: That woman).

I don't know how they fell in love. I don't need to know how romantic that was. “Romantic” is that they sort it out, because that woman had a daughter from a man who mistreated and, now, she see another man misbehaves, but both agreed on having one son (not legally married! But in Venezuela same “right” applies as if they were a married couple).

Love at first sight is -somewhat- and infatuation. All those hopes, wishes, may come in a flashback dream, but it needs cement, GOD as a matchmaker, and renewed commitments. I'm sure all made wrong choices but, those who keep them alive, are devoted to the person they chose, and seldom (or never) planned to be cheating, because they stopped winking at their secrets emotions.

Why do you see too many persons getting well dressed on Fridays?

Do they plan a date with another person (not being their spouses)?

God assured Isaac's wife by giving some wealth to his father. God worked on Rebekkah, but also worked on the ways this present world works: Material stuff are an asset, particularly when a woman already has children (or plans to get them).

I don't know why many persons hide with their lies.

I'm sure Abraham chose his wife willfully, from his very people or siblings. Just read the O.T. What was the reason he called her “sister”? It was! But they didn't have the same parents. Moses took another wife, different from the former, and the new one was from Africa... Was it the reason Miriam fought against his brother's leadership?

Jacob loved the one he chose, but Laban tricked him to get him would work for seven more years... Was it love at first sight? Jacob showed the love he had for Rachel with deeds, not with empty words.

The whole life tells me we needed to choose -and pick- each decision. Those granted things were sometimes disregarded. Those who came along, who wanted to be very close to us -by clinging- were somehow despised or utterly ignored with their fears and pains, hurt, with those lies we thought we could hide.

Someone talked back. He told he (or she) could hide as long as pleased, but history has shown humans needed to make choices and God, as well, has shown He made His decisions and -the last- was sending His own Son to invite us to repent, to turn away from our “domestic” sins...

What an awesome history Jesus has written in our lives!

A.T.

P.S.

Wow! Here's a reply someone gave at that religious person who have said “there was a curse when choosing”. I just leave it here for you to see:

“Listen, this whole dating thing is wired into the human brain. The way people and other living creatures work is that we seek out the strongest, smartest, nicest, kindest, prettiest, healthiest partner that we can find. You shouldn't blame people for that. This is the way we work. You don't want to marry a frog, do you? So, outward appearance does matter. Of course, if we were living in a culture where arranged marriages are the norm, then we would probably go with our traditions. I don't know where you live, but in my culture, we have to find our partners ourselves. Others aren't going to do it for us, so we have to do it ourselves. This has some advantages and disadvantages, of course. Everybody is different in some ways, so all of us aren't looking for the exact same woman or the exact same man. But we all look for someone who appears intelligent, healthy, etc... you get the point. By the way, I don't think that you should put so much emphasis on the word "soul mate." Marriage is about love. You either love someone or you don't. Of course, people can easily and naturally co-exist with some people but not with others. We also have to find a partner that is a good fit. In other words, if two people are roommates and can't get along at all, then those people would not make a good couple, I think. ”

We are not ghosts, as long as we live on earth. So we'd better understand men have to use their eyes. If you are accepted -loved- the way you are: Just thank GOD!

It is a miracle, a blessing, loving someone who is not perfect (the infatuated way we could think we are).

Free Christian Dating Site

There are many places, but one is needed for you to seek... Here´s one that served me well.

Hope you enjoy that moment to end up your loneliness.

Horoscope?

The thing on astrology is that DEMONS may "help" you to believe those things THEY SAY.

Personal example: When I was your age, I went to climb mountain "Avila", I met a friend there and both were assaulted by two bandits... When I came back home, I read the newspaper and, being completely PAGAN, I believed what the horoscope session told for that day, within some additional things: "...there is a risk you be stolen things today..."

That time I didn´t know GOD, I believed those lies demon-posed (or "inspired") people could write on a piece of paper or at daily TV broadcasts for you PEOPLE to believe them (instead of God´s will).

This is a spiritual war where our minds (our souls) is their most important target. Once they hit YOUR MIND, they posed people´s bodies.

Some of us feel or are lonely, but...

Isa 53:8 He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for HE was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken.

This seems to apply for Jesus, and hurts my eyes.

I remember Nicolas, a man whom I met in those streets, who felt alone and left that house it was not his home. I remember his tears, and how he cried and hugged Elizabeth, telling us his sad story. Who knows Jesus? Who wrote about His deepest feelings, except about His remanrkable deeds and teachings.

I´m glad that “Lazarus” can´t see down here (Luk 16:23). I´m glad they´re ceased and passed away, because it is said: Lukes 16:25 "Abraham replied, 'Remember, my child, that you had a life filled with good times, while Lazarus' life was filled with misery. Now he has peace here, while you suffer.

I´m happy with my share, I have lived and I haven´t lost hopes on somethings God and Jesus know. I had children. Joshua was (or is) the one I missed more, but he deserves his life and his living, and I plan to be here to help him walk, as long as I can and, the same applies for Joy, Elisha and Alexangerla (the one I enjoy now).

One of my brother is childless and, sometimes He shows his affection to them in the streets that I told him the story of a friend, whose uncle had legal problems in Washington, just by being accused like a child molester (Venezuelan culture is open to show some affection Saxon avoid).

Some people feel they are alone even in the company of those they don´t see that missed love. They don´t know how to manage or be cherished, because you are too far, unreachable, an a picture or a phone call cannot do what a hug deserves, a touching of arms heal, and a frank and direct eye talk can say to your lonely soul: I know it because I have lived it.

Our soul, our mind, lies, sometimes. The person who loves is just there and the waving of a tail, the welcome of a dog or a cat is not that thing you need, not the phone call of a distant children nor the text message received saying: “I love you”.

Who knows how God feels?

Who knows how Jesus felt?

Could He feel the warmest hug of a woman?

Could He enjoy the love of that “sinner” who poured perfume over His head (and body) using her hair to wipe her fault out?

That was pure love.

I had no other way to see it to think it.

Last week I went for shopping.

On my way I thought I´ve seen someone I really loved. It was a crowed boulevard and I thought I wasn´t daydreaming.

I let my feelings go.

I allowed my eyes to see what I wasn´t seeing.

I stopped to look at her eyes. I wanted to know she was as happy as I was, meeting her without a date.

I asked: Do you want me to hug you or say just “Hello”?

I stared at my mind.

I knew it is love, but it´s not.

There were more people than I thought I could see.

I kept on walking and each time I was to cross a corner, the traffic light was red... Three times! (So I knew there was a lesson to stop)

I am not alone.

I´m plenty of love to give (but it´s not my time)

and I´m happy the life I lived.

P.S.

Just listen to the song “FEEL” of Robbie Williams.

Come And Hold My Hand.
I Want To Contact The Living.
Not Sure I Understand
This Role I´ve Been Given.

I Sit And Talk To God
And He Just Laughs At My Plans.
My Head Speaks A Language
I Don´t Understand.

I Just Want To Feel Real Love,
Feel The Home That I Live In.
´cos I Got Too Much Life
Running Through My Veins,
Going To Waste.

I Don´t Want To Die,
But I Ain´t Keen On Living Either.
Before I Fall In Love
I´m Preparing To Leave Her.

I Scare Myself To Death,
That´s Why I Keep On Running.
Before I´ve Arrived
I Can See Myself Coming.

I Just Want To Feel Real Love,
Feel The Home That I Live In.
´cos I Got Too Much Life
Running Through My Veins,
Going To Waste.
And I Need To Feel Real Love,
And A Life Ever After,
I Cannot Give It Up.

I Just Want To Feel Real Love,
Feel The Home That I Live In.
I Got Too Much Love
Running Through My Veins,
To Go To Waste.

I Just Want To Feel Real Love,
In A Life Ever After.
There´s A Hole In My Soul.
You Can See It In My Face,
It´s A Real Big Place.

Come And Hold My Hand.
I Want To Contact The Living.
Not Sure I Understand
This Role I´ve Been Given.
Not Sure I Understand.
Not Sure I Understand.
Not Sure I Understand.
Not Sure I Understand