lunes, abril 28, 2014

La moral (o “Eso no es moral”)


Hace mucho he oído esto. Puede que mis conceptos no sean mejores que los suyos y, también en esto, cada persona tiene derecho (y moral) para defender su posición y opinión PERSONAL.

No cabe duda que hay una moral social, una moral colectiva pero -sin el individuo- sin la pluralidad distintiva de quienes somos, la moral “social” no tiene valor ni sentido alguno, puesto que ésta (la social) es un gran convenio cultural, tácito o no, de la opinión generalizada, la posición étnica o social y el uso de LAS COSTUMBRE de cada individuo en particular, ligada a su actividad social, a su IDENTIDAD protagónica (no antagónica), en cualquier medio que cada individuo se desenvuelva.

En un sentido, la moral es un hábito hecho “plural” por la aceptación de un colectivo. Los hábitos o conductas son individuales pero, la vía de la transculturización, podemos reconocer valores nuevos, ajenos a nuestra generación, a la herencia de nuestra cultura o extrañas a los valores de nuestras familias (las que nos formaron y educaron).

Una sociedad que fomente el tráfico de drogas, el irrespeto, el robo, la mentira, etc., no permanecerá como tal y, de hecho, tal permisividad AMORAL deteriorará la vida de cada ciudadano, al punto de que cada individuo llegará a auto extinguirse ¿Ejemplo? La presente cultura política de Venezuela.

Joselo Díaz, en uno de sus programas “cómicos” tenía un personaje que decía: “¡Dios mío! Yo no te pido que me des real, sino que me pongas donde hay...”. ¿Lo recuerdan? Es obvio que, quien quiera diga eso hoy -moralmente- tiene muy poco que exigir o ejemplificar con la doble moral que públicamente exhibe.


¿Qué es la MORAL?


Brevemente, me tomo prestada esta corta definición de wikipedia:


La moral o moralidad (del latín mos, moris, ‘costumbre’) son las reglas o normas por las que se rige el comportamiento o la conducta de un ser humano en relación a la sociedad (normas sociales), a sí mismo, y a todo lo que lo rodea. Otra perspectiva la define como el conocimiento de lo que el ser humano debe hacer o evitar para conservar estabilidad social.” ( http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moral )


Podemos hablar mucho de moral y practicarla poco (hipocresía).

Podemos buscar -y abarcar- toda la gama del espectro social, el entorno espiritual o su ámbito teológico, sin formar un habito verdaderamente nuestro, aquel que nos defina INDIVIDUALMENTE en la sociedad que decimos pertenecer, esta que nos da abrigo, y en la que se fomentamos relaciones de pertenencia, conveniencia y convivencia.

La moral nos define, nos determina individualmente, nos identifica como unos y otros, por nuestros valores y hábitos. Nos caracteriza, nos aprueba o desaprueba en el contexto psico-social, porque la ambigüedad (la doble moral) es propia de quienes mienten y, precisamente, los mentirosos van desde sus casas a la iglesia, de las escuelas a la calle y, en ese encuentro “social”, el cielo es el límite.

¿Cuáles son mis costumbres morales?


Como individuo, se espera que yo respete e imite la conducta deseada de ciertos patrones o normas de aceptación social. Se desea que aprecie y respete esos convencionalismos. Puede que, en la escuela o en el trabajo yo sea aprobado académicamente pero, así como en otros lugares y en otros aspectos, yo puedo ser un ser reprobado moralmente, porque este convencionalismo de la moral forma hábitos que se asocian el carácter de cada individuo de una sociedad determinada que valora o estimula ideales considerados “espirituales”.

No matar, no robar, no mentir, no codiciar... en el fondo -más que mandamientos- son valores morales “espiritualizados” y, la paz universal de cada hombre se basa en el respeto de los deberes y derechos de cada individuo, hombre o mujer.

Hace ya años que una querida amiga escribió su artículo “La prostitución como alternativa”. Creo que no cesaré de proclamar sus ideas ni ese escrito pues, desde la ventana de su campo y vivencia psicológica, ella dejó ver la ambigüedad de ciertos conceptos morales que torcemos a conveniencia (Favor seguir el link de su escrito).

Moralmente -quiéralo no no- tengo una obligación individual de honrar la moral colectiva así como merezco el respeto de mi moral individual. No puedo ser indiferente (ni negligente) al irrespetar lo que debo a otros y, en esa misma proporción, merezco respeto a lo que yo valoro, como individuo, como persona y, hablo de moral personal, esta que me determina o caracteriza como individuo.

Las leyes “orgánicas” se suponen normalizan la coexistencia de cada individuo de cada país. La moral, en su mínima expresión, refleja parte de ese sistema moral macro-social, macro-ecómico que, cada individuo desea y debe respetar: No matar, no robar, no mentir, no codiciar, etc.

Un fumador no debe fumar en presencia de una persona que odie al olor del cigarrillo, no debe fumar frente a un niño y, mucho menos, al lado de otra persona que esté afectada por una enfermedad pulmonar: Eso sería un deber ser moral.

Un ladrón, por su parte, considera “crimen profesional” cualquier acto que le prive de lo que “compró” o robó a otro.

Un proxeneta no tiene moral para criticar lo que hace su hijo o su hija por dinero (o por placer). No puedo hablar mal de la pornografía si la produzco o la consumo... Un traficante de sexo no tiene más moral que quien la compra y, en medio del texto (en negrilla) dejo un hipervínculo que -también- toca este tema que seduce a tantos y ¿En qué una prostituta es menos que un chulo?

Una prostituta, en su código individual, penaliza y critica a cualquier mujer (u hombre) que la prive de la compañía de cualquier persona que la llene del placer que no haya en otro hombre (o mujer). Aunque moralmente no es ético que ella resienta alguna forma de infidelidad (emocional o sexual) su razón le dice: “No me han hecho un bien” y es allí donde la moral toca su ideal mayor (el bien colectivo, respetando -particularmente- el bien individual).

La infidelidad, como costumbre (moris) tiene un reconocimiento público, moral, “espiritual” y legal pero, en la práctica, usamos un discurso doble: “Yo deseo que me seas fiel” (pero yo sí tengo derecho a dormir con quien quiera, tú no). ¿Es eso moral o hipocresía?

Me parece, no sé a Uds, que uno no tiene autoridad moral para intentan cambiar a otros cuando uno mismo no ha podido cambiarse ni auto mejorarse. Esto me recuerda la exacta moral que propuso el señor jesucristo cuando expuso aquello de “Médico cúrate a ti mismo” o cuando dijo: “Saca la viga de tu ojo, para que puedas ayudar a otros a curarse” ( Mateo 7:3; Lucas 6:42 )

Si yo mismo no he dejado de mentir ¿Qué moral tengo para enseñar el arte de la verdad?
Si yo mismo no soy infiel ¿Cómo enseñar la lealtad?
Si no sé responder a un compromiso ¿Cómo daré una cátedra si no soy responsable?

Estoy convencido, no sólo por la experiencia de vida en Venezuela que, las personas que más te exigen cosas son las mismas que menos están dispuestas a darlas de sí.

Puede que pidan materialmente, pero resultan -tacañas y tacaños- a la hora que deben dar lo que otros piden (o sólo anhelan se les respete).

El mejor ejemplo de autoridad moral lo encuentro en Jesucristo. Su máxima, en esto de relaciones humanas y todo aquello que tenga que ver con uno mismo, lo resume en esta fórmula: Y así como quieran que los hombres les hagan a ustedes, hagan con ellos de la misma manera. ” (Lucas 6:31)

¿Quieres te respeten? Muestra respeto or otros.

¿Deseas te aprecien o escuche? Paga con la misma moneda... Sólo se cosecha lo que se siembre, menos de allí, no tenemos moral para pedir.

Alguien que defienda su identidad personal, su autoestima, debe saber respetar -también- la auto imagen que cada persona cuida (o descuida). No es moral que yo haga lo contrario a lo que deseo para mí.

A.T. Abril 2014

sábado, febrero 08, 2014

Love at 1st sight?





Many folks grew with this hunch. Many watched those romantic movies telling our heart “this might be true” but, how many people have found it as completely true?

Perhaps many grew with Disney's movies. Millions of people heart it was real, up to the moment the faced it wasn't that way, but it was worthy to keep it alive, because it gave them live.

I can remember a couple of faces I saw in my childhood, but that feeling it wasn't love, but a desire to get it, to have it, to hold it; but it wasn't real, we didn't make it worked.

Growing old we saw those faces, but we couldn't get their minds, their inner beings and, if we ever had a glimpse on those hearts, we all were to dark to see the light in between: We split, we left, we hurt when being hurt (or cheated on).

Love is not just a telling, a feeling, it's a real giving. Love is not a simple choice, it is much more than a simple decision: It's a willful decision.

Someone wrote “the Curse of choosing a soul-mate” and said something about Rebekkah and Isaac. He said God was all behind that marriage, but he forgot to tell that there were more human reasons pushing Rebekkah to marry a man she never saw or knew. He bypassed mentioning the monetary status Rebekkah (and her family) saw as an additional blessing on Isaac's father, because that servant told them Isaac was the heir of Abraham's belongings.

That someone wrote this: “ If Rebekah went to Isaac, without seeing him, and accept it as the Will of God/Elohim, then why do all of these "believers" today think that they get to cast the deciding vote? ”. I'd like to share my ideas here -and there- because I cannot post in that article I found it “fine”, up to the moment that person said “it is a curse making a personal choice”.

As far as I read the OT, I see GOD gave each man freewill. He brought to Adam each animal and Adam gave them some names (I don know) but it is the first proof I see He (God) man freedom to pick, to choose, as a freewill.

Afterwards, He saw the man so “alone”, that He gave him an Eve...

How come will a man be ONE, with his “flesh”, if a woman lacks what he likes from a woman?

I guess Adam saw something “missing” he founded out on the person GOD gave him to LOVE, to care, to protect, etc.

Rebekkah, on the other side, saw Isaac's grace on the prosperity his servant brought to her house. Laban bent down, as a servant, just after he saw the generosity that man carried, but it was for Abraham's sake. It wasn't the servant's wealth! (Do you need to pick “poverty” instead of some earthly confort?)

God prospered Abraham and that servant way's, but the blessing was on Abraham's hand, and on Isaac reach, as heir.

Yesterday I visited someone (whose name I won't say) and she told me some domestic problems she had at home. She told me her man hides the coke or bread he buys, just to avoid that person's daughter eats what he brought “home”. I got shocked, but I was told he came to her life when he was jobless, when he wasn't studying and -barely- he had finished high school and -being in that condition- she took him into her heart (and house) and, more than once, she gave him money and helped him to finish a college career. Let's thank GOD for that! But now he is jealous his benefactor had had one children before they both have “made” one son he now wants as her unique heir...

Wow! He is not jealous of my friend's daughter. His zeal is not for his son, because I know he likes that woman's daughter leaves alone that apartment to get more marital power and, in case they divorce, he thinks he could get his big share (I know it! Because I have talked with him, several times, before I knew this domestic problem).

None of them are committed Christians.

That person is a sibling, so I am related to this very closely, and I am happy to know SHE LOVES HIM THE WAY HE IS (He was hurt in his childhood; but I don't condone it, because both parents are responsible for the end of this very local “domestic” problem: They made a choice and one is eagerly more coherent -and committed- with this loving and unresolved problem: That woman).

I don't know how they fell in love. I don't need to know how romantic that was. “Romantic” is that they sort it out, because that woman had a daughter from a man who mistreated and, now, she see another man misbehaves, but both agreed on having one son (not legally married! But in Venezuela same “right” applies as if they were a married couple).

Love at first sight is -somewhat- and infatuation. All those hopes, wishes, may come in a flashback dream, but it needs cement, GOD as a matchmaker, and renewed commitments. I'm sure all made wrong choices but, those who keep them alive, are devoted to the person they chose, and seldom (or never) planned to be cheating, because they stopped winking at their secrets emotions.

Why do you see too many persons getting well dressed on Fridays?

Do they plan a date with another person (not being their spouses)?

God assured Isaac's wife by giving some wealth to his father. God worked on Rebekkah, but also worked on the ways this present world works: Material stuff are an asset, particularly when a woman already has children (or plans to get them).

I don't know why many persons hide with their lies.

I'm sure Abraham chose his wife willfully, from his very people or siblings. Just read the O.T. What was the reason he called her “sister”? It was! But they didn't have the same parents. Moses took another wife, different from the former, and the new one was from Africa... Was it the reason Miriam fought against his brother's leadership?

Jacob loved the one he chose, but Laban tricked him to get him would work for seven more years... Was it love at first sight? Jacob showed the love he had for Rachel with deeds, not with empty words.

The whole life tells me we needed to choose -and pick- each decision. Those granted things were sometimes disregarded. Those who came along, who wanted to be very close to us -by clinging- were somehow despised or utterly ignored with their fears and pains, hurt, with those lies we thought we could hide.
Someone talked back. He told he (or she) could hide as long as pleased, but history has shown humans needed to make choices and God, as well, has shown He made His decisions and -the last- was sending His own Son to invite us to repent, to turn away from our “domestic” sins...

What an awesome history Jesus has written in our lives!

A.T.

P.S.

Wow! Here's a reply someone gave at that religious person who have said “there was a curse when choosing”. I just leave it here for you to see:

Listen, this whole dating thing is wired into the human brain. The way people and other living creatures work is that we seek out the strongest, smartest, nicest, kindest, prettiest, healthiest partner that we can find. You shouldn't blame people for that. This is the way we work. You don't want to marry a frog, do you? So, outward appearance does matter. Of course, if we were living in a culture where arranged marriages are the norm, then we would probably go with our traditions. I don't know where you live, but in my culture, we have to find our partners ourselves. Others aren't going to do it for us, so we have to do it ourselves. This has some advantages and disadvantages, of course. Everybody is different in some ways, so all of us aren't looking for the exact same woman or the exact same man. But we all look for someone who appears intelligent, healthy, etc... you get the point. By the way, I don't think that you should put so much emphasis on the word "soul mate." Marriage is about love. You either love someone or you don't. Of course, people can easily and naturally co-exist with some people but not with others. We also have to find a partner that is a good fit. In other words, if two people are roommates and can't get along at all, then those people would not make a good couple, I think.

We are not ghosts, as long as we live on earth. So we'd better understand men have to use their eyes. If you are accepted -loved- the way you are: Just thank GOD!

It is a miracle, a blessing, loving someone who is not perfect (the infatuated way we could think we are).

Free Christian Dating Site



There are many places, but one is needed for you to seek... Here´s one that served me well.

Hope you enjoy that moment to end up your loneliness.




domingo, enero 05, 2014

Horoscope?

The thing on astrology is that DEMONS may "help" you to believe those things THEY SAY.

Personal example: When I was your age, I went to climb mountain "Avila", I met a friend there and both were assaulted by two bandits... When I came back home, I read the newspaper and, being completely PAGAN, I believed what the horoscope session told for that day, within some additional things: "...there is a risk you be stolen things today..."

That time I didn´t know GOD, I believed those lies demon-posed (or "inspired") people could write on a piece of paper or at daily TV broadcasts for you PEOPLE to believe them (instead of God´s will).

This is a spiritual war where our minds (our souls) is their most important target. Once they hit YOUR MIND, they posed people´s bodies.

domingo, diciembre 29, 2013

Some of us feel or are lonely, but...

Isa 53:8 He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for HE was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken.

This seems to apply for Jesus, and hurts my eyes.

I remember Nicolas, a man whom I met in those streets, who felt alone and left that house it was not his home. I remember his tears, and how he cried and hugged Elizabeth, telling us his sad story. Who knows Jesus? Who wrote about His deepest feelings, except about His remanrkable deeds and teachings.

I´m glad that “Lazarus” can´t see down here (Luk 16:23). I´m glad they´re ceased and passed away, because it is said: Lukes 16:25 "Abraham replied, 'Remember, my child, that you had a life filled with good times, while Lazarus' life was filled with misery. Now he has peace here, while you suffer.

I´m happy with my share, I have lived and I haven´t lost hopes on somethings God and Jesus know. I had children. Joshua was (or is) the one I missed more, but he deserves his life and his living, and I plan to be here to help him walk, as long as I can and, the same applies for Joy, Elisha and Alexangerla (the one I enjoy now).

One of my brother is childless and, sometimes He shows his affection to them in the streets that I told him the story of a friend, whose uncle had legal problems in Washington, just by being accused like a child molester (Venezuelan culture is open to show some affection Saxon avoid).

Some people feel they are alone even in the company of those they don´t see that missed love. They don´t know how to manage or be cherished, because you are too far, unreachable, an a picture or a phone call cannot do what a hug deserves, a touching of arms heal, and a frank and direct eye talk can say to your lonely soul: I know it because I have lived it.

Our soul, our mind, lies, sometimes. The person who loves is just there and the waving of a tail, the welcome of a dog or a cat is not that thing you need, not the phone call of a distant children nor the text message received saying: “I love you”.

Who knows how God feels?
Who knows how Jesus felt?

Could He feel the warmest hug of a woman?
Could He enjoy the love of that “sinner” who poured perfume over His head (and body) using her hair to wipe her fault out?

That was pure love.

I had no other way to see it to think it.

Last week I went for shopping.

On my way I thought I´ve seen someone I really loved. It was a crowed boulevard and I thought I wasn´t daydreaming.

I let my feelings go.




I allowed my eyes to see what I wasn´t seeing.

I stopped to look at her eyes. I wanted to know she was as happy as I was, meeting her without a date.

I asked: Do you want me to hug you or say just “Hello”?

I stared at my mind.

I knew it is love, but it´s not.

There were more people than I thought I could see.

I kept on walking and each time I was to cross a corner, the traffic light was red... Three times! (So I knew there was a lesson to stop)

I am not alone.

I´m plenty of love to give (but it´s not my time)

and I´m happy the life I lived.


P.S.

Just listen to the song “FEEL” of Robbie Williams.

Come And Hold My Hand.
I Want To Contact The Living.
Not Sure I Understand
This Role I´ve Been Given.

I Sit And Talk To God
And He Just Laughs At My Plans.
My Head Speaks A Language
I Don´t Understand.

I Just Want To Feel Real Love,
Feel The Home That I Live In.
´cos I Got Too Much Life
Running Through My Veins,
Going To Waste.

I Don´t Want To Die,
But I Ain´t Keen On Living Either.
Before I Fall In Love
I´m Preparing To Leave Her.

I Scare Myself To Death,
That´s Why I Keep On Running.
Before I´ve Arrived
I Can See Myself Coming.

I Just Want To Feel Real Love,
Feel The Home That I Live In.
´cos I Got Too Much Life
Running Through My Veins,
Going To Waste.
And I Need To Feel Real Love,
And A Life Ever After,
I Cannot Give It Up.

I Just Want To Feel Real Love,
Feel The Home That I Live In.
I Got Too Much Love
Running Through My Veins,
To Go To Waste.

I Just Want To Feel Real Love,
In A Life Ever After.
There´s A Hole In My Soul.
You Can See It In My Face,
It´s A Real Big Place.

Come And Hold My Hand.
I Want To Contact The Living.
Not Sure I Understand
This Role I´ve Been Given.
Not Sure I Understand.
Not Sure I Understand.
Not Sure I Understand.
Not Sure I Understand

jueves, noviembre 14, 2013

Reply to: "Older women and younger men"



Allow me to tell, according to my experience: I never like older women. Today youngs, both men or women, try to learn from the older ones and, in the case of women, some may call her cougars (I don´t know why) except that having younger people by sides makes you to feel younger. 

Tina Turner may call that "successful", like many others who has got what they like and, ALL are free to get the parner any could be given (GOD-GIVEN) but I can assure what I have heard from the people I have met is sordid. 

What do I have in common with a teen? 

What do I have in common with a foreigner in a remote country I cannot walk in her culture or economy? 

LOVE seems to be a need EVERYWHERE, but the commonwealth of ideas, likes, and a bunch of things do matter to make it successfully; because beauty and health may fade away. 

Older people can be ill-biased. Teens are those who risk themselves to start a new relationship at ease, and I had a forty-niner friend who married 5 times (From USA, by the way). 

Marriage has to be given by God. It´s not based on beauty, a nice roof richly kept or sex. It´s a miracle to find one and a miracle to be found. 

So I remember those words Jesus said about "the eunuch"...

What kind of friendship do you expect to find or BUILD?


A quick "made" friendship is not so. It´s not an enduring one or anything worthy to be mentioned as "friendship". I´m, for example, need no visa to visit your country to visit or meet you there, except money (as all people need) so, a real good friendship HAS A PRICE some or any has to pay.

What do YOU have to make it priceless or worthy to keep (and how I help it be)?

Both have the disadvantage of English and not having a computer normally connected to Internet. In fact, I don´t have electricity at home.

What social group will your friendship be TARGETTED? (Just a direct question) Because not many people are gregarious, but SELECTIVE, to avoid using the right word I know when you are accessing people you don´t belong, whether for culture, beliefs, social or economic status... (Just saving you the lesson I learned the hard way).

Some times people will not respond those PMs. Many BADLY dislike been said: "Hello, I am me". But you will tell me later on, if you are please.

If you seek a friendship, keep on laying those bricks of goodness, Be real and BE YOU!

On the PM you sent (to me) we can talk "privately". I can give you my P.O. Box address if you die to write down snail mails (conventional and "traditional" letters). In Venezuela they come so slow, but e-mails save BOTH time and money (I´m poor, and I don´t care you are the Queen of Russia).

He! He! (But you can see I DO CARE).

Welcome and I hope this secular guide lines serve you a bit.

God bless you!

sábado, octubre 19, 2013

“A new commandment I give you..." (John 13:34)

It is easy to ASK it when the ONE asking is not giving you anything, but an order. Let me tell you this: Why are many people leaving God or Jesus? Because they were seeking a thing they haven´t found in HIm or through HIm (and just reminding Him the prayer I have with HIm today).
A relationship needs adjustment. To love another I need to LOVE me first and, if I find nothing on the other side (I mean the divine realm) I probably go another place. That`s happening to many people.

I´m asking GOD a miracle for this sunday. I´m asking Him a thing I lack and I´m making noise to be heard. I spent some years being "nice", although I developed some hate to my staying here without electricity, spending long night alone doing nothing in the darkness I made for not having electricity in my home, the plae where I´m secluded for not being part of those who I don´t belong, if He misses me, if He pays no attention, I don´t care about that eternity spent doing nothing, except being mute while other have they share, while I live like a prisoner of my failures, not giving anything my children will remember from me, when I´m eternally gone.

How could I love them not showing that love? How could I give, if scarsely I get something to my daily food? And they need shoes, clothing... and I see how pastor lacked what it could be given to enjoy one more minute of this earthly life.

God!: Show me ONE MORE TIME I can trust you for the impossibles. I´m not plenty of time to build what I couldn´t build...

That´s my today´s prayer.

lunes, septiembre 16, 2013

Sexual Materialism


I couldn't stop myself from writing a thing about this: Today someone who grew with me asked me if I would woo someone he would have flirted first before being “engaged” with someone he doesn't like.

The thing sounded me sour (as a teaspoon of salt).

Some time ago he told me he was about to be related to someone who is older than he is... The reason sounded me creepy and materialistic, as he himself lightly acknowledged that day; but this time he invited me to flirt to a friend of his old girlfriend.

I know there are Internet sites to match with your interests, your life goals -even for sex- but I believe in genuine love or some kind of real affections that are not linked to monetary reasons -sort of business- on this highly secularized search of the opposite sex. He met her somewhere in the streets. He doesn't use Internet but his friends...

He told me that person he mentioned is younger than the one he has. He said she is the owner of an apartment and an office in Ccs, and that she is not as rich as the one he now dates; because the one he flirts (in common consent) owns some real state in Spain, Dominican Republic, and here in Venezuela. Is she aware of buying “friendship”?

Doesn't this sound like male prostitution?

Will you buy friendship (or love) with some wealth?

Five decades served me right to see money is as convenient as a loving person willing to be loyal; but love and friendship were not to be sold or begged.  Did they?  Was I too blind too see it that way?

I know I sought, before being a Christian, nice looking ladies, illicit or free sex; but I thought people grew up to seek healthy characters, a loving personality, someone to cling someday because that person  is willing to love and care genuinely.

He is not Christian, but I think he is close to a “convenient” state of prostitution... I don't know hers! (one pays, the other agrees to receive some money).

It is not a secret old men and women like young people. I know some like to lure them away, but I won't pay for love and much less for lusty sex. Why do people insist on those faults? I'm not blind! But I will run from that type of lurking ways.

Yes! I'm shocked.

I believe in the genuine attraction of people. More than that, I believe God could lead me to the right person, and not following the convenience of my selfish heart or the emptiness of my pocket.

Wow! That's male prostitution.

Absolutely!

I know he has paid for the favors he has received from young girls or ladies, but he seems to be doing the opposite thing now.

Is this happening in your culture too?

I know we don't live immersed in a Christian culture; but I don't think this is happening ALL over the world. I know we had wrong motives when being out of God's ways, but it's hard to believe this evil is widely spread, even inside the family or friends.

I thanked God that my children aren't misbehaving like that. I checked they don't like porn, although they're not dating girls with the exact commitment to be utterly married... Yes! I did wrong and much more than them; but I had the mindset that dating someone was to be married, someday.

Just letting these thoughts flow!


Do you have an idea to share here?

A. Toro


viernes, septiembre 13, 2013

Inspiring movies. (Sept. 2013)

Last night I could watch 3 movies I borrowed from my friend pastor Eduardo three weeks ago. I came to Ccs for my mother´s birthday and had the chance to turn on one of my PC to enjoy myself watching: a) “The secrets of Jonathan Sperry” (www.SperryMovie.com) b) “The freedom writers’ diary” and c) “Our Lady of Victory” (2011)

The secrets of Jonathan Sperry gave me some ideas useful to preach or to work with young people; but I actually lack his facilities, the neighbourhood and some resources… I could work on that, but my “target” is quite different (just in case I take my own ideas to be adapted to my vicinity).

The freedom writers’ diary is one of those movies I wish I could keep at hand to study it frequently. I will do my research later on and, obviously, it has its racial background, some Jewish scent helping to back up their “local” segregation, but that serves very well to show –according to the movie- how USA could be dealing with the their social problems (which seem to be rooted on economical opportunities, equal rights, educational needs and more cultural things I cannot feel (or guess) since I don´t live there in those States).

Our Lady of Victory is based on a true sport history. I watched the deleted scenes and these had some elements Catholic people would see as “offensive”, like nuns dancing… :P  They showed some real film records of the Immaculata college’s success and the way they wore “tunics” as their uniform to play basketball…

What I liked more of these two last movies (a thing that shocked my attention) was the clear contrast between two opposite situations: 
a) Ms G. (Hilary Swank) faced divorce while teaching high school, while blessing and leading others´ life. 
b) Cathy Rush was married to a man who often played basketball, one who really knew team working, and backed her up to accomplish her job.

What I´ve found inspiring on these videos is easy to understand (if you yourself watch them) but, regarding the family, those we would like to get or ever have, could be quite different if we were married with the wrong person, unequally yoked.

What kind of a spouse would you like to be?

I don´t know the passion each person has. It could be professionally developed on your job daily or lovingly worn at home, with your loved ones; but some secretly have it and some sadly feel they miss it.

On those movies the passion for a job were exaggerated, perhaps unrealistically or naively; these examples are not impossible and could cause any some splits, divorce, emotional loneliness filled with the emptiness of frustration, which usually comes when someone is not achieving his/her personal goals, these that are thought to be found at marriage or in a love relationship. 

At The freedom writers’ diary movie a man leaves her woman. At Our Lady of Victory another helps his spouse to win with her team. What kind of man do you like to be with? Which of these you are alike?

I understood Ms G.´s husband wanted a hommie woman, just for him, when he came anytime home. On this case, the character of the man Hilary Swank might have married looked selfish, self-centred, and served her enough to chat about her day and to please that H.S. teacher who devoted long hours working outside but, contrasting both movies, coach Cathy Rush married a man with similar professional likes (basketball), this accepted her freedom of choice and understood the personal need she had to work outside home (I like the way she dealt with his feelings when he felt jealous, since she mentioned the time she gave him attending some of his matches, when playing basketball).

Which of these two men you identify with, as husbands? Which of these two girls/women would you like to marry?

I think –if I were married- I wouldn’t like to get one spouse who often comes back home late. I see all of us, as humans, need self-respect, healthy admiration and some kind of personal achievements; but I don´t need (nor like) anyone who behaves bossy or lives too busy (that´s the hermit in me).

Inside de DVD I saw some enjoyable pictures and a tiny video of the class of the freedom writers. The movie has updated very fitly the amount of the Afro-Americans, the Latinos and the Asian attending classrooms somewhere else there. Will you mind to compare the picture of that class in 2006? 

Surely you will agree on the positive side of the critics to racism. The English version doesn´t have some words I heard on the Mexican version. Some Afro-Americans said, in the Spanish version, “they came first”. What about the ancient American Indians and its banished cultures? (Is their fate similar to the Amalekites, Canaanites, etc.?)

My concern it is that I´m black and Latin European. My grandparents were Italians, Spaniards and my father’s mother was black and white. I was raised in the house a Native American built with my grandmother. He reluctantly accepted my dad, and later on accepted me, not having his own blood. Is it a race we lacked? Do we know who we biologically belonged? God is absolutely different! A man is jealous for each man. We naturally see others as potential enemies, because we don´t equally belong to the kingdom of God. 

I know the country and the place where I was raised, but I don´t belong them. There was a time I could boast at that citizenship I freely received, but I long for Christ´s. I know who I was, the things I did and enjoyed, but I am not to imitate those things I had and now regret. As Christian, I am like you, as you are like me. Where are those rights I would claim above any?

As an outsider, CC looks multicultural and interdenominational. The world, as far as I can see it, is the same; but I know its limits, its borderlines, i.e.: “Do not send me PMs”, “Do not write to me unless I know you”, etc. Do they really serve to stop creepers or weirdoes?  Ha! Ha! (I received one of those stupid things creepers write to woo on CC).

I know I lack God´s love to approach people. I don´t know how to change this world I live, but Jesus knows. The lesson that classroom gave me is love, and it cost any time and pains. Here in Venezuela we live with the same hate; it is not racial, but social. The political resentment is used to keep their “leading” role to get access to amounts of money. Public agencies and the media are used to maintain the ideological influence the hypocritical communist stills to stay in the government, same way they worked in Germany, the URRS and Vietnam. The local war has begun to find food, to invade and seize private property when expropriating factories and the land that were used to produce enough meat and food. Here is the dictatorship of mediocrity!

How long does it take to be widely spread? God knows! But next Third World War has begun in the minds of those who don´t see this far more. 

Syria is not my local war, same way Venezuelans should be concerned on our social issues first: We need God to rule from within.

Just see how you would react: In a narrow prophylactic scope, let it be allowed to ask How would you deal with Aids and the people who are infected with more evil diseases? No matter the colour of their race, stop thinking about their social status or cultural background, but at the potential risk of these diseases spread which see no face to pollute (and the way to spare your life from being infected by this and other contaminating factors related to sins). Don´t you shrink like me? What is your deciding attitude toward worldwide secularism? What is your standpoint when this openly threatens your life, your family´s welfare or nation? We all let sin to be spread. It´s just taking its toll on conventional sinners.

The movies are inspiring but this last questions are painfully shocking, aren´t they?

Just leave anything you like… (like prayers, for example).


A.T.

viernes, septiembre 06, 2013

Elder son.



Last night I spoke with Josh. It´s been years since we haven´t had time for free sharing. He told me things I didn´t know. He has grown up enough to take care of his life and now he seems willing to teach me, each time he sees he can.

I gave him some tips. I don´t want him to be a dad before getting a profession, and he agreed. He introduced me to one of his girlfriends (I don´t know how many he has got) but this is simply nice looking and I knew nothing about her, except she sleeps wholeheartedly with him. She´s not older than 20 and, if I were her dad, I wouldn´t like to have my daughter sleeping with anyone who haven´t married her.

I told him to take care of her loving. He said she cares herself to avoid pregnancy but I said he is responsible too, that I would use shields if I were him.

I don´t want him to leave babies or women alone, but I can´t do anything. Today young people split and start new love affairs that easy, that I don´t want to think who could be the real father in a messy life anyone could be living.

We spoke on some hopes and dreams a girl (or women) could have. Chances are that many will be passed by at pregnancy, since this affects both woman and man. We seldom know the biological father in a messy life, except when asking DNA tests. Sadly I know there were fathers who were not the real ones and the joy they once felt, faded when knowing the truth of a cheating spouse.

Josh has lived more than I. When I was his age I lacked his experience. I lacked God too, because it was a wild living I got. I pray his life be changed for God´s, for his life´s benefit and I´d love to see him changed. Elisha needs the same turnout, their mother needs to come back to God´s ways to heal their home.

Alcohol or tobacco were not my vice. I knew no drug, except that of “free” sex, lying for pleasure with this cheating tongue. Two or three times I felt drunk, but these guys of mine are living too fast, a way I don´t understand. That´s their life!... They need to live it up to see God´s light.

My dad was not Christian. He left my life alone in my grandmother´s hugs, so I knew from my faults and mistakes. I seldom shared deep feelings or ideas with him at childhood. We had no time to share, and I disliked the time he spent reading his newspapers. I wish he had given me that time, but it was “his” time (not mine).

I wish I could coach my children somehow: My daughter pays so little attention, she wants money instead; And Elisha has his own ideas... I don´t care they don´t need me! I´m happy they are their own. They need to learn alone, but I wished I could help them.

I cannot blame any other person, but me. Divorce brings communicational ruptures I cannot mend and it´s reluctantly “Ok”. There´s no point at crying when the milk has spilled from my hand.

If I were “home” I would not let Joshua or Elisha to sleep with their girlfriends. I guess they have had several mates in a simple year. Joshua told me he thought to pay a whore while he was alone, during 9 months... I told him I never paid for that kind of sex. I could have paid something to have a company who was not companionship, but it wasn´t love either. I recommended him not to do so: My concern is spiritual. Morally, a sin is sin.

I thought he could see life briefly from my standpoint. I told him I bypassed many girls who could have been good wives, but sex got me blind. I was wrong (I´m wrong) but I can´t tell him what to do, except God, in his heart.

These girls he has are not seeking money, but pleasure. I told him someone of 50 wanted to marry a girl of 16... Josh acknowledged that man was wrong and said those girls he has found are sex machines... I agreed! I´ve seen too many parents allow their children use “homes” as “Hotels”... My advice to Joshua was the same for that man, and I said that was not real love; because I have read of men who have killed those kids when they found them cheating. Cheating could be found out on both, men or women. Christian or pagan unbelievers have too many fantasies. Is there no way to stop sinners? There is ONE (I´m a sinner) but we´re unwilling to stop it.

This weekend I went out with one of my ex-gf. She invited her daughter and a friend to have a walk in a mountain. Before we were finished, she saw I was sending text messages to someone I was wooing and made a joke, so I said: “I have to take care of those I have”.

When leaving, after an hour or so, she sent me a text message thanking me for the time we shared and telling me “...she was willing to have another meeting, but alone, if I was pleased”. I said “she is married...”, and she quickly talked back telling me “...she has some freedom in marriage. She closed that chapter of her life with me...” but it took me two decades to realized I was unwilling to turn those pages she said she turned; and that last encounter served me to close the book I was writing in my mind, so I partially said: “It is me who had problems to understand I don´t need your friendship”. I said to myself.

A pen friend I had said it well... There are men and women who like to have more friends than they need and “some like to have extramarital issues”, but I don´t need friends, except only one.

Joshua told me he had a friend who told him about his love affair with a rich woman. She paid his friend everything he needed or wanted... Fortunately (for that mother and woman) Josh´s friend started to woo the daughter of her mate and, any moment, the mother knew he was a cheater... Any day she appeared at the man´s family house and told them the kind of man he has been during their relationship and all the things she bought for him... That reminded me the writing of a friend who wrote “La prostitución como alternativa” (Prostitution as alternative) I think I should get it translated! (Haven´t I done it yet?)

Joshua knows money is an issue to be “safely” engaged. He cares as much as he can. He is clear he needs more money to build his home (Thanks God! He is more responsible than I was).

I left Carol and MP. I don´t want these lessons to be reminded by more sad experiences. I just left them to avoid repeating those mistakes I made: I knew whom I like, but I was blind to keep this life alive.

What I forgot to tell you, my son, it´s do not trust you more than God. You may think you are right, but time will tell you are or were wrong. Do not trust your eyes, your feelings nor people´s. Do not trust your thoughts, your body shape and its strength today. Trust God, not you!

The very day you stop believing you to trust in God (and His chosen one) your life will be changed and things be turned to favor you.

You will not find the best woman without His help. They could love you as much as they can, but you need Him to love her the way she is to get the one that could be gotten. You need faith in Him, not in you or your ways to walk life. I can´t teach you this I´m learning. I lived your way, and I was wrong (and was wronged). What would happened if you have gone to pay a whore? What´s wrong when you use people you don´t love to get sex?

Don´t miss the person you may have wanted to keep your whole life. Don´t sleep with those you would not commit yourself to be married. I wish God gives you the ONE you have liked to love.

I tried to tell him healthy relationships need God in between. Those who left -after a split- didn´t find what they liked or what they seek. There is not a safe way to keep what does not belong. I see people leave God, somewhere and somehow. How much will I leave those I don´t love for being cheaters or false the way I was and used to be? I said I´m not better than a dozen and not worst than hundreds.

Children will not keep you to your wife´s love. Money cannot buy your dreams neither other´s. Many are around wooing at any who could dare to smile. Coveting is a sin we pay too little attention sometimes.

Beauty has drawn you to girls and, same way they go to those whom they like (for the same pleasure or desire) there´s no a safe way to keep those you may cling to. That depends on your will, their will and your decisions.

I tried to tell him love is not sex. “Man cannot live on bread alone...” We need God´s direction and to be modeled by His perfect will.

He knows his giving and receiving. At his age I wasn´t like that, so I´m glad for the things his mother might have told him. He knows the importance of money. He is not stingy and has learned from other sources outside me.

I pointed out the broken relationship I had with his mother. He has learned from hers more than mine. There was a time I felt jealous when someone his mother had got his attention away from me. I don´t remember how long it was -more than a while- and Elisha joked at him for that, several times... That hurts! It often happens when we´re divorced, so I wish to spare him that pain.

We don´t say it aloud, but something happens when you have a brother (or a sister) who has a different mother or father. Many have learned to love the right way, but I belonged to the minority who experienced that kind of rejection from my Mom while many learned it from their Dads.

What have you felt when meeting your mom embraced in other man´s arms?
What do you feel when you see your dad kissed another woman who is not your mom?
What have you felt when your ex-gf (or boyfriend) kisses another?

My elder son has his own ideas. He told me he was watching “to see who was the best girl he finds”. He disliked some have tried to change him... I said they did it for love, for his benefit, not selfishly to get him into a trap. I said tobacco is a drug; and those girls who asked him to stop that habit did it well. I didn´t have chance to tell him: “the best thing in world you could give a girl is you” because there were interruptions... I didn´t know how to tell him he is the possessor of everything he could give a woman who has accepted him -the way he is- to help him change WITH LOVE and for love.

He is like me when talking. He wanted to be heard, and I gave him that attention he asked. He was limited in time, he planned to leave early next morning, so I was given a borrowed time he could have spent with his girlfriend, laid in a bed... What were those things hindering me to keep my child? Think about you! Is your ex-spouse jealous for the relationship you´ve got with your children?

Joshua asked me to open a new mail account for FB. I didn´t ask why he wants them anew. I may infer he wants to leave his past behind, because there are more ways to keep present updated. Let´s say he wants to settle down and felt hindered to tell more while his time was running faster than mine.

Within a week he goes back to his military service. I said I never went there because I haven´t found citizenship at this country I was born. I avoided to be screwed up by their patriotic lies since I do not believe I´m Venezuelan while I admired him for his character, responsibility; because he comes to work, instead of enjoying his days off (I would enjoy myself to rest; but he comes to make money, so he clearly understands the price he pays for his living).

I needed a good turnout to start leaving things and names behind.

I´m happy my son has found some human release. That´s not the Christian way, this is not how it should be, but it is his: I was worst!

Enduring love comes from the Eternal source of love: God´s. Perhaps Joshua is wrong on few or more things than I am, but he is right to live his life to learn from it.

Samson chose to love people outside his people. I have found out there are differing and different beliefs within the same denomination, you believe one thing and I see another; so I don´t see clearly who talks with her heart when using the tongue our social life has styled. I´m so far from God´s standards that I failed my whole life.

It´s easy to expect other people pay the price we have to pay for the things we receive or those we´d like to be receiving. This is selfish. It is us who have to pay the price for being loved. I´m selfish and egotist too, each time I´m expecting God to do it for myself. Can I play the piano without using my hands? Does a guitar play its notes without anyone putting his/her fingers on different strings?

I cannot write a poem from emptiness. Love has its music to be played. Does an unwilling mouth sing love music without its feeling?

Emotions are self-centered. Misunderstanding may affect long-term relationships so I have to learn the music some feelings like.

I don´t like salsa music played. I can´t dance what I disliked or hate. I´m stubbornly convinced of the things I like or believed. Each persons is who she/he is. No one is the same, there´s no one to blame. What are the sounds a beating heart likes?

Character is modeled by years. We´re not the same we were and still believe we haven´t changed. Time, experience and the intercourse of people made me to be different. Willingly or not, I changed. Knowing the truth helped me to behave (and I need to change more). Some are changing for their good or worst. Some are convinced they did right or wrong. There is a longing to change, to be improved, or to remain the same.

Christian people prayed for you and me to repent. I prayed before my son were born and I named him Joshua for a reason. God has blessed us all. He still works in the background and His words will not return empty: He does what He does.

Few people would like to help you change. Some regret your change cannot be seen soon (sometimes) but the work is His... The battle belongs to the Lord!

Let say my son does not like someone asks him to stop smoking or drinking. Someday he will realize he was wrong, same way those who stubbornly sinned. He may argue alone and talk back “he was like that”, but these people will help him to change: “Iron sharpens iron”.

Dozen of people are praying before you and I die. They´re asking you (and me) to turn from our sins, to convert to God, to live a holy living... Will you pay attention, my son?  (I love you)

Joshua told me he says the kind of man he is, before being engaged... He likes alcohol, cigarettes and still being deaf to listen my warns: Did I tell your grandpa died from cancer?

He agreed tobacco is a drug. Many could see it as a sin, but I couldn´t tell him there are more things to change to really love. What if a girl disappoints him more? What if he cheats on her?

I worship You, God! ´cause you´re the only ONE I could trust my whole life to die or live.

I left my son with the promise he would send me a text message when he buys his new-brand mobile. I will give him his new FB and mail accounts so he use them the way that could bring him life.

I wish you commit to God, my son, so He could build with you an enduring home.



A.T.                Sept 2, 2013